Signatory

Daydream

It always happened on lovely days. I, for no reason, decided to add a little surprise to the day. In my school, I was well known for carelessness, in attitude and style. I wasn't a typical girl when it came to fashion, or let's say I wasn't known for it, but underground, I was changing, and I decided to manifest a little of it on this fateful day.

It was a simple black skinny jean, with a yellow crop top that I had chopped the extra arms down to create a stylish flowery dropping, my natural afro was neatly gathered above the top of my head and my feet fitted in a sleek black sandal. We didn't have much to do, just a workshop session with everyone likely roaming around and playing with equipment.

I felt extra confident that day, more because I knew that they would love the surprise I was bringing to them, and I already romanticized the attention I would get even before I had it. Elegantly, I strode in and as expected, I was met with wowed eyes and dropped jaws.

There's something different about seeing your typical almost tomboy, dressed all feminine and flaunting edges you never dreamed existed. It always hit differently. And I could tell I had the exact effect as everyone seemed to had taken a break from sawing and filing to staring as some gorgeousness that had graced the scene. It all felt natural to me, they just had never met that side of me before.

I graciously slipped by the aisles, ignoring the stares I got from the crowd. I made my way to the edge of the building where I found my squad, my brothers if you may. They all took a break from working to acknowledge my presence as though I were some sort of royalty, especially with my new outlook, I could tell how difficult it was for them to believe their eyes and I couldn't stop smiling realizing the effect I had on them as well.

'Pat is this you?' Stan blurted out, unable to hold back his shock and amazement. 'I'm sorry for calling you bro all this while, from this moment on, you're neither my brother nor my sister.'

I couldn't help but laugh at how totally dramatic he sounded. 

'So you have all these things and you've been hiding them?' Moses added teasingly, sketching my edges with his eyes.

I found everything funny because I knew those guys well enough to know that they were only joking or at least I thought. They were brothers to me and I knew for sure they took me as a sister, if not even a fellow brother. Being feminine around them was really rare.

I liked to think at that point that dressing and feeling good was an instant mood booster as I felt really lighter and happier. I could no longer stand still, I had extra enthusiasm than normal for the workshop that I didn't even care if I was dressed the role, I just booked for a saw to voluntarily help people with their works. I was dressed the most feminine I had ever done, but I still felt this urge to prove some form of strength that I actually acquired. I had always thought being feminine induced weakness but I was wrong. I was reprimanded from working and constantly reminded of how I wasn't dressed the part, but my mission wasn't completely accomplished yet and in order to do that, I had to steal some more attention. 

'Leave her, let her cut the wood.' A guy echoed from a side table supporting my decision and eventually they all paved the way for me.

I had never handled a saw before, but the enthusiasm in me exceeded my ignorance as I fiercely tore into the wood. In a moment, I got a grasp of it and continued tearing down till the wood broke apart.

Voices echoed out from every end of the table celebrating my strength and little success. "Nice one Pat, nice one". More eyes stared at me and I knew i was getting closer to what I wanted.

In no time, the talking was over and everyone had returned to their serious businesses, I was starting to get bored as I had my own piece of wood already. I just sat in a corner praying for my wishes to come true, but I was starting to lose hope that it ever would. That's what he did to me, keep me guessing. But God bless our instincts for blessing us, because on looking towards that certain way, the sight that met me was definitely one to behold. One I didn't know I needed to crack me from my little bored world.

His small eyes were wide in amazement, his perfectly shaped lips slightly dropped in indescribable awe. I must have been dreaming. The belief that this guy never had any form of interest in me, in contrast with the image that stood before me, produced the most glorious feeling ever. Too unbelievable to behold. The tough guy drooling over me with such intensity and without consciousness or control.

I bet he didn't know that I caught him staring in such deep admiration, because even though it flattered me, I still played it off, not wanting him to find out that I knew. I didn't want to convince myself of any form of interest, not to mention love, or lust even. I couldn't afford to raise my hopes because then I'd be shattered when it dropped. I humbly held on to the moment and savored it.

It felt pleasant and heavenly, like the greatest achievement I ever had. And it didn't forget to make me happy, like the rest of all the beautiful days. I think I may have been cursed, but it felt too good to be afraid of. And with every thought of it even after that day, I was as happy as that exact moment. Like my fantasy in real life.

A daydream alive.