The Light Within Her - Book Nine

Ch. 21- Darkened Sun

"I've seen my own sun darkened." –Alejandra Pizarnik

The other three Gods left the dining table with Amias and Lyssa in tow, leaving me all alone with Erebus. He has now titled my fiance...which I shudder every time I think about it. Somehow I hoped this was all a dream and would be waking up soon–that I was currently sleeping in my own bed with Chanel purring next to me. But it was nothing like a dream at all, it was a nightmare that I will be living in for a long time. My spine straightened as I took a sip of my glass of blood–wanting so badly to groan out in pleasure. I didn't, even though my stomach screamed to do so. I set the glass down and picked up my fork, taking a bite out of the chocolate truffle in front of me

From the line of clothes in my wardrobe and my favorite dessert, I realized that Erebus watched me for a while. He learned everything about me–from my exact size to what kind of foods I eat on a daily basis. Even my favorite type of blood. O-Negative. And the way he watched me eat right now, weirded me out in a lot of ways than it did before. Exactly how long did he watch me? I wanted to ask him so badly, demanding he tells me this instant. I kept silent, trying to fix my heart from breaking any more than it already has in the last hour. The look Amias gave me–was enough to break any promise I made and run into his arms and never let go. There was only one way this had to end in order for us to be together.

"You know, we are similar in a lot of ways, dear Lianna," Erebus said. I glanced up at him as he was seated on the other side of the dining table, myself on the other end. As though we were two rulers in a Kingdom.

I set my fork down on the plate and leaned my chin on my knuckles. If my plan needed to work, my fighting instincts needed to be weakened. My guard needed to be lowered until I made him weak. We played a game of cat and mouse. But Erebus didn't even know I won every single time. And I wasn't any damn mouse, I was fucking cat. "How so?"

Erebus smiled, leaning back as his eyes locked into mine. Play the part, Soari. "We are the youngest sibling that no one noticed until we demanded attention. The outcasts, the troublemakers from the moment we were born. For most of your life, you craved freedom no one would ever give because of the expectations of your Kingdom. Be careful, they said. But the two of us were not born to be careful, Lianna. We were born to live. And deep down, you agree."

Maybe I was stupid enough to think all he learned about me was just fundamental things. Erebus learned what I craved most in the world and it was to live my life free from the expectations of everyone. My soul yearned for more–even now. "You speak about freedom, Erebus," I replied, saying his true name for the first time since we met and he noticed that small detail, too. "Yet you trapped me in this so-called house I don't even recognize, forcing me to marry you and controlling every ounce of my powers. So what is your definition of freedom?"

"Once we are done, Lianna, you will have every inch of freedom you could ever want. Everyone will be able to listen to you, for you will not only be known as a halfling anymore but a Goddess of Darkness. Do you see what I'm offering you?"

I blinked slowly, my tongue stuck in my throat from his confession. Erebus was willing to make me a Goddess to fulfill his plans to defeat Moros. Without me by his side, he was nothing. For the first time, I could almost understand him. He, the God of Darkness, craved power more than anything else. He wanted it to escape his destiny, his expectations of ruling over the shadows. Finally, Erebus wanted to take back what was taken from him by Moros so long ago. "If I become a Goddess, my sunlight will be gone." It is what happened to Verena de Blaire when she became one. Her vampirism burned her from the inside out until her Godhood devoured her whole. It will be the same for me.

"I won't let that happen," he replied. I gave him a look of confusion, wanting him to elaborate. He got up from his seat and walked toward me, stopping as he kneeled down before me. I was stunned and speechless, but he didn't seem like he cared. In fact, all he could focus on was me. "When we marry, you will be made into the Goddess of Light."

I frowned. "Isn't there already one?"

Erebus smirked, but this one held so much violence in it that I wanted to look away. But I couldn't. Not yet, anyway. "Aether, the current God of Light. That is until we find where he's hiding and end him. Think of it as a wedding gift, dear Lianna."

For a second, I thought he was joking. Maybe he was lying about everything so I could agree to be on his side for all eternity. But Erebus was willing to kill his own brother to make me into a God like him. Like Moros and Verena. But I only ever wanted to be me, both a Vampire and Fae. That was who I am, and who I will always be. I never wanted to be anything more than that. My blood came from the fiercest Vampires to ever exist and magic from the Earth herself. I never wanted divinity–never wanted this blood on my hands for becoming one. The idea was insane. "You would kill your own brother for me?" I questioned my voice below a whisper now. My mother once told me I was capable of breaking a man's heart with just one smile. I told her how much I never wanted that kind of power. But right now, this moment, it was all I could think about. If the God of Darkness offered you the world when all you wanted was the warmth of the sun, would you accept? Or do you deceit your way into his heart until you are ready to strike? I never craved power as Erebus did. Because I already had it in my veins and that was good enough for me. The only thing I wanted most in this world was someone I could never have. So, what was the point of having so much power in my hands if I couldn't have him?

Amias never offered the world, he offered me warmth. A life that I desired more than anything. My life was full of chaos and drama, yet in the last few weeks with him, I've never been more at peace. He made my overthinking mind quiet–made me feel safe in a room full of ruthless Gods who wanted my power. Love shouldn't be feared–it should give you comfort. Love should make you feel safe, and should make you laugh and cry in the best and worst of times. It should give you a reason to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night. Love should never be a horror movie.

The mask I held stayed intact as Erebus trailed his ice-cold fingers up my arm–as though he craved to touch me since we met. I did not flinch as he trailed up to my collarbone, even though I wanted so badly to run away. To punch him in the face. The only man I would allow to touch me like this was nowhere to be seen in this house, but the blood oath we shared screamed between us. "Lianna," he whispered, his gray eyes staring into mine as I bit my tongue. The name he gave me, made me want to scream. My name is Soari Breevort. Not Lianna. Yet he called me by that name so he would not call me by my difficult one. But he had to know–I was not born to be easy. Not on the eyes and definitely not in the mouth. "Why do you think I want you tied to me?"

I shook my head slightly. "To control my world."

"To be my equal, Lianna," he confessed. "I spent years waiting for someone to free me from my prison, lost in my own shadows. Until you. We were meant for each other from the start. Both darkness and light. So in order for us to do that, we have to kill my brother. Aether, he is a cowardly God and doesn't deserve his power. You do."

I stood up now, his arm falling to his side. Erebus still kneeled for me but I didn't care one bit. "We may be similar in some ways, but we couldn't be any more different. Because I would never kill my own flesh and blood for power. And as I said before and will repeat in the future: I would rather die." My legs caught up with me as I walked out of the dining room, my hands curling into fists at my side. Mortals told stories about Gods, warning us not to turn away from them or there will be severe consequences. But I just did. And I couldn't care less.

Behind me, Erebus called me again and I slowly turned around. He used his power on me, I realized a little too late. Damn him. "Unfortunately for you, dear Lianna, I need you to live. And to keep you from killing yourself, I will have no choice but to move you into my room." There was no escape from him. Nothing. If I have to play this game, it will have to be constant. Even while I sleep, the game will go on. No rest for the wicked, I suppose. And to defeat him, I will be the most wicked one of all. In order to save Amias and our future, this is what I have to do. "Come along now, we have a big day tomorrow."

For Amias and Luc. For Emmeline, Rosalind, and Bea. For my parents and siblings. For Verena, Moros, and Lyssa. Most of all, for my Kingdom. I will play this part until my last breath in this world. Until I have nothing left. From death to life, I promise.

My sunlight may be darkened by the shadows, but it shines bright in my blood. And no God will ever change that.