The Light Within Her - Book Nine

Ch. 5- Past Shadows

"I wish I wasn't such a dreamer. I've ruined this life for myself." –N.M Sanchez

***

A lot of people think that living my life is extravagant and amazing. After all, I have the ability to summon the sun in the palm of my hands and run the speed of light. Each of my family members are famous throughout worlds, but are unknown to the humans. My parents are friends with the Gods of Death. After the last war, they decided to have a daughter. Lyssa de Blaire. We are similar in age and for the longest time, I had the biggest crush on her. But the Gods rarely visited, but when they did, I was jumping up and down until Rosalind told me to stop and calm down.

Lyssa and I were friends since we were children. But deep down, I know I wanted us to be more. She was beautiful and dangerous, but when I spend time with Lyssa, she was nothing but full of light. She wasn't death, she was beauty. There was a million things I loved about her and I hid those feelings so well within me that it practically killed me when she was leaving seven years ago. I was young, maybe too young to feel so much with the Goddess of Death. Before she stepped into the rift, I pulled her back and told her how I felt. I told her everything with my family watching. I was confessing who I am to my family and who I love at the same time and to this day, I don't regret it.

I watched her stare into my eyes for the longest, fearing she wouldn't feel the same way. With the silence, the thoughts overpowered me. It made me wonder if this is how my Father felt when he confessed his love for my Mother. If this what Kalama felt when she finally let go of her emotions to Jesse Davenport. Love is fear, I realized. It hides in plain sight, but it's there. I waited and waited, looking away from her gaze because in my head, she didn't feel the same way I did. But then, her palm was on cheek and it made me face her again. Lyssa de Blaire was raw with emotion, smiling through tears. She said, "I love you, Soari Breevort. I always have. I was too afraid to feel that love because I do not deserve your light." I shook her head, but she continued. "We are opposites and live in different worlds, Sor. But you know what? I don't care. Because I love you and yearning for you has been the most difficult thing I could ever do in my life."

I cried. She cried. Until we embraced with our family standing behind us, all of them smiling at us. Looking back on that moment six years ago, I realized that no matter what happens, my family will accept me. They loved me more now that they know that I not only like boys but girls, too. We held onto each other until she stepped into the rift finally, into her world. Her Kingdom. As soon as the rift closed, I figured out that this new relationship would be difficult. Lyssa and I won't be able to see each other all the time and a part of me missed her as soon as she left.

For months, there was nothing of Lyssa. It was like she was never here, like she was a dream. I was sulking in my room, eating stale potato chips when she opened my window and stepped inside. She had black silk hair that ended at her waist with side bangs, making her more beautiful than ever. The first thing I realized was that Lyssa was wearing a black and gold high-collar dress with heels the same color. I wanted so badly to embrace her, to kiss every inch of her, to yell at her for not being there for me. But all I could do was stay silent. "Soari, aren't you going to kiss me? Yours truly is here finally." she smirked, sitting on the bed next to me.

I pulled out another chip and took a bite. "What have you been up to?" I asked, avoiding her gaze.

She raised an eyebrow, then she sighed. "Look, you need to know everything while I was gone. You deserve that right to know that I was dating other people in my world. We were not exclusive, Soari."