The Dead war.

Chapter Twenty-Six: What Is Real

I woke up that next morning with my son still in my bed and my husband at his desk in our room going over letters and mail we had received that night. I laid in bed looking at my son and my husband and then at my unborn baby and then at myself. I lay and wondered how I got into this position, not only raising an entire kingdom. My entire childhood was me protesting learning how to not be a princess to learn how to be a warrior because I was dead set on never becoming queen. I didn't like the fancy dresses, the crowns, the elegancey I hated all of it. So how was I now in this position as queen of Umbris fighting a way my father and the king of Prophis started and now I had to finish it. I was wearing my mothers dresses and a tiara. I was everything I despised and yet here I was. As I lay in bed with my son next to me I questioned everything in my life. What if all of this was a ploy. My father said he knew melody and knew of my existence so what if this was all a ploy to get me to believe the unbelievable and to become queen when all I wanted to do was fight all I wanted to do was to be a warrior. To teach warriors to lead expeditions to spend all my free time in the woods. And yet despite everything here I was a queen wearing dresses. I was married and I had two children all before 22. I was the exact woman I used to laugh at for wasting their lives on something that didn't matter. I hated children. I thought they were a waste of time. I thought that being queen was pathetic and that all my parents did was sit around and boss people around and try to control my life. I felt like they wanted me to be this perfect girl and perfect woman and I was the opposite. I believed that being queen was the easiest job anyone would ever have. And I laughed when my father told me how stressed my mother was because I couldn't believe a job so easy could be so hard. But now I am queen, I am exhausted, I am a mother and a wife, I am in charge of my people and my kingdom to protect and raise each and every one to provide food and jobs and money all while taking care of myself at the same time. But I still questioned everything, who was I? Why was I here? Where did I really come from? Was melody really my mother, was Terrence really my father? Was it a good thing my father passed away? After all melody told me my father made this war grow faster and larger than expected. But how was the father I knew and loved who screamed at the death of my mother and who willingly gave up his crown for me, how was he bad? Thousands of questions flew past my mind and I didn't have answers for a single one of them. I don't know what is real and what is fake. How is time travel possible, how did I meet my daughter who was supposedly from the future. How did the timeline work for my brothers and myself and Samuel. I didn't understand how any of this was possible. How did they not know about my life and what was going to happen to me if they knew everything else. How did they not know about the little boy and my father dying and my mother being murdered. They knew about my marriage and who I was supposed to marry. So how much they didn't know about Jasper or my future baby? Nothing made sense and suddenly everything I knew and believed seemed fake. My real family and my daughter and my twins none of it seemed real anymore.

I continued to stir in my thoughts for almost two hours before I was taken from my thoughts by my son waking up and climbing off the bed to walk to his dad. I looked up to see Oliver looking concerned.

"Are you alright?" He mouthed.

"Yeah why?" I mouthed back. He pointed to his eyes and that's when I realized I was crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded and he tilted his head. I slowly got to my feet and Oliver walked over and helped me get into my dress and I sat and tied my hair back into a low side ponytail with a stand of hair remaining out. I put a black gemstone pin in my hair and put a light pink lipstick on. I walked to my office and sat down in my chair and pulled out a few letters addressed to me. The first was one mercy who congratulated me on the new son and on the marriage, the second was from melody which I set aside and the final one was a letter from king Gabriel himself. I felt my throat close off and I felt like I couldn't breathe and suddenly I was nauseous. I sat back and opened the letter.