'Sun Mere Humsafar...' - SwaSan Fanfiction

Chapter 27 : Only She Had To Do This!

It was night time and for Swara, it didn't matter what time of day it was, for nothing mattered to her more than the man she so badly wanted in her life but at the same time was refrained from wanting him with her.

She was sitting near the window, staring at the beautiful moon in the sky, thinking what turn her life had taken and the choices that she made in the recent days.

This moon... it looked so lonely, all alone in this dark sky and right now that loneliness reflected that of her own. That's just how she considered her life when he wasn't there in it. And those stars, they are the ones brightening up this darkness and shining right next to the moon. She wished, she so badly wished she could tell him that he was the star that brightened up her life. Tears filled her eyes when she recalled all the things she did to him in these past few days.

Thinking and rethinking about all this hurt her over and over again. It left an open wound in her heart, an empty hole drilled inside of her that made her regret for what she did in these days. But she didn't know herself what she was supposed to do!

All his memories came and flashed in front of her. Their first meet, how he pissed off in the beginning, his flirting, at the same time his caring, loving, selfless nature...

"If you are not nervous then why is your heart beating so fast? Or is there something so attractive about me that is setting your heart on full speed just by my mere presence around you?" She recalled the time when he flirted with her before her first ever operation, which was also the time when she saw his caring and concerned side for the first time.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she closed her eyes.

Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fana ho sabhi dooriyan

Usually, his memory would fill her with euphoria but right now, they were filling her with emotions of despair, lost hope and thoughts about what she could have done but didn't do.

"Something about this moment, it feels as if I have everything I have ever wanted in my life. Looking at you, I'm sure you are also feeling the same. Ab jab mai sochun, toh iss jagah ki khubsurati hai yeh wakt! Aur mai chahta hoon ki yeh wakt bas yeh hi rukh jaaye."

"Nothing is hard in my life whenever you are there with me. But not having you in my life, it will make my life itself hard... to live!"

She felt every word of his. Every gesture of his. It's like somehow, in some way, they were connected to each other. What good did she do in her past lives that she got such a pure soul in her life. She didn't know herself if she was lucky because she found him as her love, or unlucky that their love was facing such odds.

Kyun koi paas hai
Door hai kyun koi
Jaane na koi yahan pe

Aa raha paas ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe

Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fana ho sabhi dooriyan

"All this while, I've never told you how much you mean to me. For I wanted to earn your trust first. I wanted to make sure that you know you can trust me in anything. I want to tell you that the girl I love is standing right in front of me."

How beautiful that evening was! If only she hadn't messed up the next day...

The cool breeze from outside had subsided, being replaced by a calming environment. But a kind of calm that wasn't so favourable. Something was missing. Something felt missing. And Swara couldn't have correlated her own situation with this environment more.