'Sun Mere Humsafar...' - SwaSan Fanfiction

Chapter 25 : A Suffocating, Deadly Silence

Sanskar was back to his room after whatever happened on the road with Swara. He was just numbly sitting down on the floor, his arm sprawled over the mattress of the bed. When he came back, he was partially wet due to the drizzle which now turned into an heavy downpour. But he didn't have it in himself to change his clothes. What happened back there was something he never expected at all. He was in shock, he felt too dejected. All the words spoken by Swara rang in his ears again and again, knocking him numb. It was too much to take in.

'Tumhe jo samajhna hai samajh lo, Sanskar. Par tum itna samjho, I have no such feelings for you. For me, you were just a friend all this while.'

Was what she said true? Did she really not feel that way about him, the way he did? What if it was really his delusion? He couldn't help but think of this possibly... that maybe just because he loved her, his subconscious misunderstood that she too loved him back. But his heart denied that completely. But then another set of words rang in his head, bringing him to the probable conclusion.

'Enough is enough! There's a limit to everything, Sanskar. I'm sorry, but I think you are interfering way too much into my personal life.'

His interference in her personal life...

What wrong did she say in the last line she spoke? He couldn't help but feel a tinge of truth in it. She clearly said he was getting too involved in her personal life to her liking, a life she would never want to talk about. Yet, he was the one who impulsively brought Sahil's name up in front of her, giving her a reason to push him away from her even more.

He couldn't help but think...

Maybe, in the intention of making her feel loved, he ended up making her think something else. That his love for her was pity! That he thought she needed support!

Had he really failed to understand her? Did he really made her think that he thought she was weak and needed someone to support her every now and then?

No. NO.

For Sanskar, 'Swara' and 'weak' could never go together. In fact, for him he was the strongest girl he had ever known. Stronger than him.

About him? He just wanted to be with her. He never pitied her. He never supported her because she needed it. He wanted to support her even though he knew she was brave enough to fight her own battles. It was him -- his love for her, his respect for her. He loved the girl he saw treating and dealing with patients with so much love and affection. He loved the girl who stood up for her self-respect and for her family always. He loved her for who she was, and that's that.

But one thing bothered him...

Was he being inconsiderate?

Was it really him and not her? Was he really thinking only about his love for her, his wish to have her in his life? Could he really not think about how she felt, about what she wanted? Today, indirectly she made it clear that she was working here in the hospital with an aim, an aim that didn't include him.

But what about she felt for him? His heart refused to believe that she didn't love him. No, just no. He saw it. He saw how hard she was trying not to break in front of him. There must be something that rested behind it, quite possibly her own insecurities that at some point the history would repeat again as maybe her destiny was just like that... the men she cared about leaving her at some point.

But whatever it was, did it justify that she just broke both of them apart like this, without even a thought?! Did she think what will it mean for them? Was it right for her to raise finger on his love for her? Was it right for her to say and assume things that weren't true at all!