3rd book the Devil May Care Series
Remember Lucas King? The suicidal kid who can barely stand to get up in the morning because he's just that tired of life? Lucas has struggled with depression since he was just a kid, always feeling like he was neve...
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Her lips feel like sin against mine. There is nothing innocent or holy about the way our mouths move against each other. It's sinful and burns red hot under my skin, it almost feels like i'm in hell but if this is hell—I never want to leave.
Our tongues fight for dominance, clashing with a force that I've never experienced. My hands run up and down her body as hers tug on the strands of my curls. She is no longer sitting, instead her legs are wrapped around my waist as I hold her up and do my best not to ravish the shit out of her.
It's only when I pull back to catch my breath, does she follow me for another kiss. I keep it short this time, smiling into it when I feel how fast her heart is beating.
Astraeas eyes are glazed over—her lips swollen and pink as she stares back at my own lips in a daze. The grin on my face is so hard to hold back that her eyes snap back up to meet mine, "I thought I lost you for a second." I tease, laughing at the scowl that grows on her face. I make my way back to my room, settling down on my bed with her still on my lap, I rest my hands behind my head and she doesn't bother moving as I lay comfortably. "You okay?" I ask, when I notice how quiet she is.
My eyes take in her newly shaved head, blood heating at how fucking pretty she is. I wasn't lying when I said I was officially obsessed, this girl didn't even know how much she affected me.
"Why do you hurt yourself?" She suddenly asks, tilting her head down at me.
I tense, my heart freezing my chest at the sensitive topic. I hated talking about me. I hated talking about my scars. I wasn't like her, I had fears and they basically took over my life but I also knew it wasn't fair that she told me about her scars and I didn't bother tell her about mine. Something ugly burns in my chest at the reminder that she self harms and I push it away, knowing I'm being a hypocrite. Was this how my brothers felt?
I lick my lips, "I feel..." I search my brain for the right word, "Heavy." I say, breathing in deeply as she holds eye contact. "I don't know why but the feeling is always there, lurking around even on my good days," I move one of my hands to rest on her bare thigh. "Like the only thing in life I deserve is pain and I don't know how to stop it." I finish, searching her eyes to see if she understands but her eyes are scarily blank as she stares down at me.
Instead I feel her hand rest above my heart like I did to her earlier. Astraea licks her lips and I follow into it like a hungry dog, "Earlier you said you aren't afraid to die anymore, is it because you actually want too?" Ouch. I felt like a knife had been pushed into my chest at her observation but she doesn't stop there, "And when I first met you, I asked you if basketball was something you saw a future in. You laughed in my face and said no." She stares me dead in my face, unflinchingly. "You don't plan on living long, huh?"
My silence is loud and a humorless smile grows on her face, "So what was plan? Get to know me, kiss me, make me your girlfriend, and then die?" I flinch at her words and she jumps off my lap as if I burned her, "Sorry, not interested."
