3rd book the Devil May Care Series
Remember Lucas King? The suicidal kid who can barely stand to get up in the morning because he's just that tired of life? Lucas has struggled with depression since he was just a kid, always feeling like he was neve...
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TW: Self Harm
I glare down at my wrists as my ears burn from the tears that leak down my face. Pull up your sleeves. Loki's voice rings in my head like a punishment, making me hate myself even more. I didn't want to be like this. I never fucking asked for this. I slip that razor blade into the sink, rinsing it off before letting the water run over my wrists.
My chest practically inflates as I watch the red water run clear, leaving me nothing but a memory. A knock at the door has me shoving the blade into my pocket, "Mano?" Lucio's voice calls out, my heart racing in my chest with guilt that weighs heavily. "¿Estás bien? You want to go to Matias's shop with me? I wanted to spend some time with you today."
I smile slightly at his invite. When Lucio had left, I felt so fucking alone despite Loki trying his hardest to raise me. He was always so busy trying to keep us safe and fed, always trying to make sure we had a bed to sleep, helping us with homework, and basically playing the parent role so being a brother wasn't something he had time for. LeRoy was struggling with his own shit and he still was—what LeRoy struggled with was something I'd never wish on anyone and I respected him a whole lot for always being positive.
It just felt like nobody actually had any time for me.
"Lucas?" Lucio calls out once more, grabbing my attention away from my thoughts.
My eyes find my reflection in the mirror as I take in my empty expression. I couldn't find any trace of happiness in those dark eyes and it should've scared me. "I'm coming!" I call back, shutting the sink off as I move to open the door. "Hey." I murmur, throwing my hood over my head.
Lucio's eyes brighten at the sight of me despite the concern pooling in his features, "Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." He tells me, quietly. I watch as he scans over my features, trying to find any signs of distress or pain but I'm good at hiding what I'm feeling so when he doesn't find any, he relaxes. "You want to come with me today? I'm heading out now, I was just dropping Rico off."
I perk up at the sound of Rico's name, "How'd his appointment go?" I ask, curious to how'd he do. He had been struggling with his anger alot, looking to Loki for advice so his sister had suggested taking him to see a counselor.
"It went okay." He responds, leaning against the wall. "She can't really diagnose him since she isn't a psychiatrist but I think it's better if he has someone to talk too—an outlet. Just so he can ease in to understanding his feelings." He explains, "He wasn't really into it though so we'll see what happens."
I nod, scratching the back of my neck as I process. "I'm going to go check on him, I'll meet you in the car." Lucio only nods, squeezing my shoulder on his way. I take a deep breath before heading over to the room Rico shared with Azrael, reminding me that he was going to need his own bed soon.
