Fengqing Fanfiction • Tags/Genre's: ANGST, MODERN AU, SICKNESSES, HOSPITAL, ILLNESSES, CHEATING, DRAMA, UNLOYAL.
( NO DESCRIPTION TO REDUCE SPOILERS)
Cover Art (@kamon0124) does not belong to me, all credits go to rightful artist/owner.
RECAP: This felt nostalgic. A week ago.. its like its happening all over again. But the guilt and fear lingered even more. Feng-xin had a bad feeling Mu-qing wouldnt make it, but he hoped that was just his anxiety. The nurse noticed them both, and she assisted them into the room, with a nervous face, she called down a couple doctors to help and it got chaotic again.
PRESENT STORY: The doctors got into position now, they were about to go through some rough session. Feng-xin got kicked out while it all happend, and the curtains were shut away. Nothing to see. All that he could focus on was the rowdy noises inside of the room that filled his body with pressure and fear on what would happen to Mu-qing. He forgot about everything else. He forgot about "her." The people watching Mu-qing earlier, and everything else.
"Shit.. shit.. shit.." Feng-xin repeatedly said to himself quietly while walking back and forth the halls. He was terrified. He felt like he abused his "power" over his lover too much. Hes really doomed now. He felt like he was unforgivable.
5 hours have passed. Feng-xin fell asleep on the waiting lounge, the nurse went to him to inform him about what happend. "You should go check him out.. sir." She said in a serious voice as she gulped. Feng-xin was scared of his condition, but when he looked inside he looked okay. He was actually awake.
"Feng-xin.. come over here." Mu-qing smiled then pat on his bed. Feng-xin noticed that Mu-qing finally wasnt pushing him back this time. "Whats wrong?" Feng-xin asked, then he pushed some of Mu-qings hair behind his ear.
"I love you. You and her can be together now and be a family, without me. Being a nuisance.." Mu-qing said with a smile, but it was obvious he was about to cry. "I dont have much time left, so my last wish is that you stay here for the night, with me." Mu-qing politely asked, and held Feng-xins hand.
"What do you mean her? What do you mean.. not much time left?" Feng-xin turned into a pale blue and his skin got goosebumps. "Ive known, for a month. My love, theres no need to hide anything about her." Mu-qing said softly, and whisked Feng-xins hair to the side. Feng-xin gulped. He didnt realize it at first. But now he knows why Mu-qing distanced himself.
He was shook. Tears fell down his eyes as he squeezed Mu-qing. Mu-qing pat his back and comforted him, as both of their hands were intertwined, "There there.. its going to be okay." Then, Mu-qing held out his hand and slid his ring off of his finger. Then he handed it to Feng-xin. "Time for you to find another to slide this onto.." He held Feng-xins hand and then fell asleep.
"Mu-qing im sorry. Im sorry. I didnt mean to do this to you.. im sorry.." Feng-xin cried out as he kissed Mu-qings hand. The sunset that was displayed outside Mu-qings window faded into a pretty purple-ish black. There were tons of stars aswell. The vital signs monitor suddenly showed a horizon. A line. A straight line, and while it showed that, there was an annoying noise. A loud beeping noise.
"Lets hang out with.. xielian later.." Mu-qing whispered to him and then his hand slipped away from Feng-xins. It went silent.. for a couple of minutes. All that was hearable was the vital signs monitor beeping like crazy.
Mu-qings body and skin fell crisp cold. "You can rest now, my dearest." Feng-xin whimpered, and held in the typhoon of painful feelings he felt inside of him. "Shit.." Feng-xin said as he clenched his teeth. "Shit.. shit.. shit.." Feng-xin hugged and kissed Mu-qing for the last time. Then told a doctor.
He wanted to die too. But he will live for Mu-qing.
3 days later.
Feng-xin has been feeling traumatized and depressed. He hasnt eaten much, only soda and cigarettes have been consumed. Xielian and Huacheng tried to visit him, but nobody always awnsered, the doors were locked and the curtains were shut. He felt just as miserable as Mu-qing when he witnessed Feng-xin kissing and making out with other women. "Sigh.. i really miss you." Feng-xin cried out as he hugged the floor, with beer bottles beside him. He was able to take home the bouquet he gave Mu-qing that very day. And poured his tears down on it.
The floortiles felt cold. "I guess this is what you felt.. Mu-qing.
Feng-xin actually skipped Mu-qings funeral, there was no reason for him to go. He felt pathetic. It was too much for him to bear. Especially knowing what he did to Mu-qing sometime before he died. Suddenly their house was so empty and quiet too. Nobody to talk to. Nobody to love. Nobody to.. cry and whimper onto. But in Mu-qings case. He was happy enough to die in Feng-xins arms.
A month later (skipping because theres nothing really in the story anymore, since Mu-qing is dead.)
Feng-xin decided to go to Mu-qing. Where he was buried. Of course.. he went to pick up flowers first. He picked up a bouquet full of lilies instead. No more white roses. Just lilies.. "Sigh.." Feng-xin sobbed to himself while in the flower shop. As usual, he went to pay and headed straight to the cemetery Mu-qing was in.
When he got there, the sky was dark and it was windy, it was bound to rain. it was dusty on his tomb. There was dirt everywhere. And the only thing left was a drawn heart, (when Xielian went to visit.) and a still lighted candle. Even in his afterlife. He looked pitiful and pathetic.
Poor mu-qing.
Feng-xin left the bouquet there, and immediately left for Mu-qing to rest properly. He has sinned too much to him. "I love you, maybe in the next life, Mu-qing."
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