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!TW major self harm and abuse!
"Common you know I've been waiting and waiting your times up," my boyfriend says starting to get louder and louder.
Oh lord, not this again.
I gaze up at him from my book "I'm sorry Chris... I'm just not ready"
I swear I could see steam coming out of his ears at this point, the sight makes me tighten my grip on the book.
Chris points at me accusingly. "You fucking said that bullshit 2 months ago!" He yelled suddenly causing me to flinch.
"You probably don't even love me, do you? God you're so fucking confusing" I clear my throat before I speak to not give away my fear "I-I love you but I'm just not in the mood, I'm sorry"
He gets closer to me and grabs my jaw in a bruising grip
No, no, no.
"Oh don't tell me you're about to cry" he says with false sympathy, "Fine since my girlfriend that doesn't even fucking love me doesn't want to ever have sex with me, I'm leaving"
I'm about to protest and give in but his anger only seems to get worse.
He moves his hand from my jaw and slaps me straight across the face, causing me to stumble back a bit into my desk. "A man has needs you know!" he yells back at me as he walks out of our bedroom to the front door and slams it as he leaves the now silent house.
This wasn't Chris, my Chris would only do this if me was drunk, he'd never actually hurt me sober. However, I didn't smell the alcohol on his breath.
I make my way over to the bed and curl up into the cover, a tear falls, then another, until sob wrack through my shaking body.
The craving of red and pain borrows into my bones. I glance at the bathroom connected to our bedroom and decide to follow through with the urges.
I put down the book on the sheets, making sure I kept my page number mentally notes into my head.
Cold floor meets my feet, I sniff and wipe my nose, I always have been a messy crier.
I pad over to the bathroom, after shutting the door behind me with a sigh, I squat down to the sink cabinet and open the door.
"Where are they?" I mumble to myself sifting through the basket with the towels in them. I try to find creative spaces to hide blades I collect in many ways.
I mentally pat myself on the back once I find the familiar pile of bloody metal.
People always say that cutting is bad and you shouldn't do it, but it's not affecting you in any way just me. And I'm still breathing so what's the harm?
I carefully slide the blade into my hand, careful not to cut my fingers and make my way to the shower.
I turn the nob on hot, as hot as it will go. Not only does it drown out the noise, it makes the room warm and helps combat the coldness I'm going to experience.
I wipe my nose with my sleeve and slide down the wall, sitting down comfortably.
I roll up the long sleeves of my hoodie and gaze over the semi-fresh cuts from yesterday's shenanigans.
I take a sharp breath in to prepare myself for the delicious sting, I bring the blade down and press before sliding it, tearing the skin.
My teeth bite my lip, wincing at first. However, the pain I feel is soon forgotten as the fuzzy feeling spreads throughout my body.
It's almost as if I black out because the next thing I know I'm frowning at the leaking cuts, scattering both undersides or my forearms, blood staining me and the floor around me.
"Shoot..." I mumble once I realize the white rug that sits on the ground in front of the sink has a stain on it, a red stain.
Chris is gonna be livid.
I catch my bearings and lean over limply to the open sink cabinet, I grip the trusty peroxide.
The clear liquid is dunked as I tip the bottle, watching closely, making sure it bubbles before rubbing it away. The stain basically gone.
Not the best but it should do.
I lazily put the bottle back into the cabinet, before quickly, in a daze, clean myself off and continue as if nothing ever happened.
First chapter!! I honestly hate when chapters are short and this is a short chapter but I hope I'll make longer chapters further on but we found out about the sweet nova's secret and her fucking boyfriend that I want to hit over the head with a toaster (edited)
