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!TW disassociation, abuse and panic attack!
When Chris got home I expected him to just go on the couch as always and drink and watch whatever sports channel was on, but no, what I saw was him in new clothes that had been covered in blood on them, added with him limping as I came to greet him downstairs.
"Hey, are you alright? What happened?" I quickly rush out, I follow him to the kitchen, and the next thing I know I'm on the ground with a stinging pain in my face "Shut the fuck up! can't you just mind your own business for once?"
I try to get up before he kicks my stomach with his non-injured leg and I groan at the gut-wrenching pain in my abdomen I lay in the fetal position and watch as my boyfriend dehumanizes me in the worst ways, but it's almost as if I'm underwater and can't hear anything and can only focus on the pain that he caused.
"Chris, s-stop." I beg hoarsely. A gasp rips out of me when my hair is roughly grabbed, my head being pulled up.
Chris panted, probably in immense pain as he was obviously hurt and still standing. "Don't ask dumb questions, Nova. You won't like the outcome." He spits.
He finally walks off, footsteps echo up the stairs. Once I hear he's finally gone I curl myself up into a ball, tears coat my face as my body shakes with sobs.
Time doesn't seem like a thing, it feels as if I'm here for hours. The cold tile of the kitchen floor making me nauseous.
Why? Why did he lash out like that, he must be drinking again, I can't possibly fathom why he would hit me until I'm black and blue.
Desperately needing to vomit, I need to make it to the bathroom despite the ache in my abdomen.
Weakly, I pull myself up, gripping the counter. Swaying as I get up to my feet.
Finally, I start my way over to the downstairs bathroom, was it always this far?
I stumble and drag my feet, I place my hand over my abdomen, loosely gripping where the shoe made contact, it eased the pain as I made my way over.
I grip the doorframe, panting wildly. My eyes burned as salty tears poured out of them, I tried, I tried so hard to be quiet but the pain I was experiencing was excruciating.
My hand shakes as I lean on the counter, locking the door. Finally I'm alone with my thoughts.
The dirty mirror shows my reflection, I've always told I was a pretty girl, when guests would come over to my dads house they praised him about my looks. I go out of the house to take walks sometimes and people always compliment my style.
Though, despite those compliments, I stare in the mirror, sobbing at my appearance. My head a jumbled mess as I try to sort my thoughts.
Do I really look like a whore?, am I really that annoying to where he feels the need to remind me? When did I gain all of this weight? I thought I dropped twelve pounds five days ago.
I feel my breathing pick up and all of a sudden, I can't, I can't, I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe?
I can't breathe I scream over and over but nothing comes out except silent sobs and choking noises. I try to scream but nothing comes out, just the shake of my body, and the thoughts screaming at me.
I drop to my knees, dragging myself to the toilet, jerking myself over the bowl and my ribs contracting as I dry heaved.
Finally, the anxiety poured out of me, coughing as it burned my throat. The room spins, I can't breathe.
I collapsed onto the floor after that, staring blankly at the ground, the dirty floor, I try to pull in air, though, all I get is tears flushing down my throat.
My mind a flurry of thoughts, however, one stood out. I come to the realization and hope, for once I wish I could pray, I hope it isn't true.
Am I being abused?
Short chapter I know but I didn't have much to write it was mostly a filler chapter but, poor nova :(( (edited)
