Heartsick Desires

Late Night Thoughts

The amount of pain I feel for the woman in my bed is indescribable.

I too suffer from night terrors and sleep is a blessing for me when it's peaceful, but I can't even remember the last time I could sleep for over two hours at a time.

I feel seen almost, and I know Nova hasn't fallen asleep for what seems like half an hour. Whatever she dreamt about I wish to just take away.

It's stupid but I just want to keep her in a little box, locked away from the world.

I sigh before saying "You wanna go walk around the town?" I say tiredly.

"Yeah that's fine..." she says dully, she removes her hand from my hold and gets up.

I also get up and start to pack my jean pockets, lighter, cigarettes, check. Phone, check. Keys, check.

I walk over to my walk-in closet and grab one of my hoodies and a leather jacket for myself.

I shrug on the jacket and hand her my hoodie. He pushed my hand away "Nope, I'll be good." She says politely.

I hate that she feels like declining help because she doesn't want to be a burden, she wants to take care of herself because that's all she's ever known with Chris and I'm assuming much before that.

That's our job, to take care of her and be there for her whenever she needs us or needs help making a decision.

"No, you won't be good you'll be fucking freezing, trust me." I try to soften my tone as much as possible for her.

She wasn't listening, she'll learn soon enough what disobedience gets you in this house.

"Put the hoodie on, and wait for me outside my room," I order.

She almost immediately takes the hoodie and covers herself in it, it drowns her in it. I find myself liking the sight of her in my clothes.

I smirk at her obvious submissive nature. "We're taking my motorcycle" I simply say as I walk or of my room motioning her to follow me.

I hear small footsteps behind me, I point to the shoes next to the door, "Wear those" I mumble.

I lean against the door and see her struggling to lace up her boots Silas got her. "Here I got it." I walk up to her and bend down.

I just registered I'm on my knees for her... one of the most submissions positions, yet I don't seem to mind.

I lace up her boots and softly kiss her knee before raising back up and towering over her.

I grab her hand and open the door. Walking us to our motorcycles in silence.

I hop on the motorcycle and motion for Nova to sit behind me. She steps over and looks nervous before quite ungracefully throwing her leg over and sitting behind me.

I crack a smile as I look behind me "You better hold on tight" I wink before starting the motorcycle and zooming off not giving her a chance to process my words.

She yelps and then lets out a full-chested laugh which makes me light with joy.

⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎

I start to slow down and eventually stop at an empty street for us to clear our heads.

"That was so fun," Nova says hopping off the vehicle, I do the same.

"I thought you'd like it" I give her a small smile.

She starts walking down the path watching her steps.

I reach in my pocket and pull out a cigarette and lighter, I put the cigarette in my mouth and flick the lighter, and light the cigarette. Inviting the burn in my lungs.

We walk in silence for a bit before she breaks the quietness. "The dream wasn't just a bad dream with monsters... it involved something that happened when I was younger." She whispers.

I hum, acknowledging her words but not pressuring her to speak on the matter, though I grab her hand to show that I'm there anyways.

However, the next confession that came out of her mouth caused my cigarette to drop and for me to halt.

"I was sexually assaulted when I was thirteen"

She let go of my hand and just started pacing back and forth looking at the ground.

"U-um I came home from school a-as usual," she interrupted her sentence with heartbreaking sobs.

I walked over to her slowly and just wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

She cleared her throat, "He was really s-sloppy, but ripped my clothes and just finished on my chest." Her voice broke

She gazed up and looked into my eyes with her spring green eyes kissed with caramel hues, but this time they were filled with endless tears.

"I know he didn't... r-rape me, but-" I pulled her to my chest.

"Shh, It's alright, Darling." I cut her off, not wanting to hear her downplaying her trauma.

Me and her sit like that for however long just rocking side to side slowly in each other's embrace.

He pulled her head from my chest and looked at me with a breathtaking smile "Thank you" she simply says.

I gaze down to her lips, suddenly wanting to taste them and kiss all of her pain away. I've never felt this way, I really only categorized kissing as an intimate gesture, for a person you have feelings for.

Wait... holy shit I have feelings for Nova Quinn.

FUCK YES FINALLY I feel like this is a fast paced story and I hate fast paced stories but I HAD TO I got too excited and impatient. Hope you enjoyed!! (unedited)