emeralds and diamonds ♔ bridgerton

Part 9

and there i was, riding with benedict bridgerton.

(i could change a few words in this sentence and it would make the story just so much better)

he was going on about something, but i couldn't hear him. my mind was wrapped around that one sentence.

i was riding with benedict bridgerton

when i was young i thought i was going to end up with my perfect prince. just like in the stories my mother would read to me before bed. the damsel would be whisked away into the extravagant palace and they would live happily ever after.

as i started to mature i saw myself becoming a duchess. marrying some french duke, have a bunch of children and then live happily in my own estate.

but here i was.

falling for benedict bridgerton.

an artist.

not a duke.

a rich artist though.

that's me trying to be optimistic. but he was very, very rich.

"you should really see my cabin." his words blasted me from my thoughts.

"what's it called?" i asked in response.

every cabin had a name. my mother hated cottages. i asked her once if we could get one, she sent me to my room for the rest of the night. i had to take dinner in my room. i was also 6 years of age.

"my cabin."

i ceased my horse. "what?" i laughed getting out.

"you heard me." my cottage was an absurd name. "how did you come up with it?" i raised my hand to cover my mouth, hiding the smile from the laughter.

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benedict's eyes peered upon to the girl right next to him. a wave of emotion rushed over him as she raised her hand up. he never got why the ladies did that when they laughed. it was just smile. who would want to cover that?

well for some ladies he could get why. prudence featherington, when she laughed she made the most absurd face he had ever seen. and she did not cover it.

"don't do that." it shot out of him. he didn't mean to say it, it just poured out of his body. like his heart had taken over.

it was like the time he had spent with the lady at the art academy. every word he said felt like it was pouring out of his heart, not his brain. but that wasn't love. sure he felt something for her, but that was just merely a care for her.

but after not seeing her at dinner that night made him feel something. something that felt new, but he had felt it in different ways.

he loved his mother, of course. violet bridgerton was hard to not love.

he also loved his sisters, but in a different way than he loved his mother. he felt as if he always had to protect them. everytime he would hear eloise cry as a young girl, he would just want to run to her room and hold her. he used to draw francesca silly little pictures to cheer her up.

he loved his brothers, but in a different way than his sisters. he wanted to teach gregory everything that he needed to know to be a gentleman. he wanted to hunt with anthony as they got older. but anthony would always refuse for some odd reason.

but with victoria. he felt everything. when they were walking to the stables she had complained about her hand hurting, and he wanted to just lock his lips on every knuckle on her soft little hands. when he heard that she wasn't feeling well, he wanted to just sit at her bedside and be there if she needed anything.

but did she feel the same way?

could she feel the same way?

she seemed too perfect to love a man like him. in his dreams she could. he knew that in his dreams tonight, when he laid his head down against the soft pillow he was going to be hers. only hers.

"hm?" her questionable tone brought the bridgerton boy out of his thought.

"you covered your smile."

to him, his words seemed perfectly normal. but to her, it seemed absurd. her entire life was spent hiding any sort of emotion that wasn't just a smile or a straight face.

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i saw the lump in his throat bounce as we continued in silence. we hit the edge of the trees and he signaled for his horse to start turning the opposite way. "are you seriously nervous about some wood?" i stopped my horse. i thought we're we were to continue on. it was a deep forest, but nothing the two of us could not handle.

he turned his head around to look at me, "are you mad? we'll get stuck in the mud and no one will hear us out there."

"good thing we have feet." i started my horse back into the green area.

i heard him let out a small groan or sigh, or a maybe a mix of both. my ears seemed to have been playing tricks on me. but within seconds i heard his horses hooves trotting against the ground in my direction as he tried to catch up. "i thought you were scared mr. bridgerton." i teased as i turned my head to look at him riding up next to me.

"i could not let you venture through here alone victoria."

not even once did i think of the dislike i felt for him this morning. seeing him on the deep brown horse, with the smallest bit of sunlight peering onto his face, the two curled hairs landing on his head; it just made it all feeling fade away. like we were just two simple people, and we had no problems. "i have gone through much worse benedict."

"you? lady victoria howard? the diamond of the season going through much worse than the dark woods? i am required to hear about this."

i could not have told him just so easily. we weren't on that level of trust yet. but even if we were married, would i tell him? as far as i knew anne had been the only one to know of my wrong-doings. but we had been next to each other for every second of life. i no longer saw her as just some lady's maid, i saw her as the only person i could ever truly trust. and soon enough, if i was lucky, i was going to have a husband to add to that list. but i wasn't going to add a husband like duke archibald. no, he was too untrustable. he would go off and tell all his court friends then my reputation would be in shambles. not to mention my childrens.

but a husband like benedict. that was a lady's dream. i feel as if i could tell him i killed a king, not saying i have, and he still wouldn't tell anyone. he would still keep his vow to me, the one he gave at the altar.

"another night, perhaps after a large bottle of wine." he snorted after my comment. he must've thought i was joking but in my heart i knew i wasn't.

the best secrets always came after a large bottle of wine.