emeralds and diamonds ♔ bridgerton

Part 17

⚠️ mature themes ⚠️

my mother had taught me about the night after the wedding since my very first engagement day. her and the queen came to my room the night my betrothal was announced.

they brought chairs out in front of the edge of my bed. they sat in the chairs, perfectly dressed. i was in nothing more than a nightgown. if i had known they were coming i would've stayed dressed.

the queen told me it was more for the man's pleasure, but i should feel good about it. since women only conceived when they were happy during the act. my mother said that he may know what he was doing, only if he had been with one of the whores that lived in england. but benedict wouldn't do things like that would he? i knew his brother did since i read the past whistledown papers, but never a word about his affairs.

"tonight, your father and i will stay at an inn for you and your husband to be alone." mother only ever said benedict's name once.

"is it that bad? that we shall have to be alone?" how was i supposed to know? i had never experienced it, i've never been expected to before my marriage.

that morning's conversation and the one from that night so many years ago ran through my mind as anne got me ready. she brushed through the pieces of my hair that weren't pinned up. she put me in a white night dress, you could see the beige of my skin under it. i'm sure that was done for a reason though. i had no idea why i was nervous earlier, but now i was nervous. what if i didnt make benedict happy?

anne shuffled out as we could heart the footsteps coming down the hall, "good luck." she said as she set down the brush.

the door once again opened, instead walking in a tall, brunette man. my husband. i stood up as he closed the door. but before i could let a noise escape my lips he was on them. i felt like i was back in that night, that first night he kissed me.

i reacher my hands around his neck, up to his hair. he stopped for a moment, touching his head against mine. "are you sure your ready?"

did he truly just ask that?

"benedict..." it was the only thing i could think of.

"if your not ready i'll-"

i cut him off. i kissed him once again, this time shuffling towards the bed. he followed, but instead of letting me fall backwards; he set me down.

he looked down at me for a moment, most likely looking down at the body that lay before him. he reached down, not setting his hands down, but just letting our lips lock for a moment without moving.

first he started with his shirt, letting it fall somewhere behind him. it could've ripped to shreds and he did not care.

he left my lips. he left a trail of his lips all along my body. something about it just seemed so, exciting.

he took off the little amount of clothing i was wearing as he slid his hands up my body. he stopped for a moment. i felt like covering everything bit of me. i never had been in front of someone naked that i hadn't known since birth.

"i love you victoria."

love?

it seemed like such an over reach.

i scooted up farther onto the bed but he still reached over me like he was a dog. he kissed my stomach. was that how children were made? by a man kissing a lady's stomach?

he slid his hand around my backside. he squeezed it like it was snow being crushed in his hand. a sound i had never expected to come out of my mouth escaped my lips. "do you like that sweetheart?"

he never called me anything but my name before, but i could hear him calling me that for years. all i could do was nod.

but that didn't seem like it was good enough for him. he slid back up, so our eyes met. that made my inner thighs tingle. he came down close to my ear, "use your words."

when i didn't respond, all he could do was slip his hand down by the spot that needed human touch. but skipped it. instead using it to rub up and down my legs.

"benedict, fuck." it was impolite for a lady to curse, but whatever is said in here shall stay in here.

"im going to take that as a yes."

but then something went inside of me. in a spot that had been unknown by society, even by me. did he just put his fingers inside of me? i couldn't tell if i loved it or if i was completely horrified. it felt good in my body, but in my mind it had to be completely irrational.

and that was all i could remember before my mind fuzzed.

okay uhm. yeah i wrote this entire chapter in front of my mom. while we were watching game of thrones. yeah this is gonna be fun to explain if she finds out.