emeralds and diamonds ♔ bridgerton

Part 18

benedict and i changed after that night.

i loved him more than anything now. all of the little things he did, all of the big things he did. it was all just perfect.

"anne we're not going to be able to do this all from london." before anne and i left, we got on a hunch about one of the older lords in court. that's what most of my free time had been spent doing. researching a man who's reputation was know, but there wasn't anything to it. everyone knew he did something, but what was it?

"that's why i've been saying we need to go back to court and soon too." you would've thought anne and i were planning a war, not a man's descent from the highest of positions.

i wanted his position more than anything. it was a cruel idea of course. but it was what i wanted. to be assisting the royals in every decision they made. well not everything: but who they bowed to, who's an ally, who to give the coin to feed the country. i wanted that.

benedict would never be interested in it though. i don't think he ever even thought about holding such power. with anthony always being first in line, i wouldn't worry about the power either.

benedict just did what made him happy, i loved that about him. but this is what made me happy. finally seeing those who were cruel be punished.

"i cant just leave benedict though." benedict would want to stay here, be closer to his family. in the case that i was pregnant with our child, although i had been trying something to make sure i wasn't. one of the ladies had said that their aunt never had a child because she would jump up and down after the special time.

benedict walked in, "victoria- oh i'm sorry." he apologized after noticing anne standing across from me at the large table.

anne, instead of accepting his apology, spoke up, "my lord we have to go to france straight away."

my head snapped towards my best friend. she rarely ever spoke directly towards him, it was odd. "then why hasn't my wife asked me about this." he stepped towards me.

"it was just decided benedict." i said his name so often, i thought his name so often. it did not make sense, not a single bit of it.

there was silence. my ears would have been ringing if it weren't for the bustling street outside.

"anne may you leave us alone for a moment." it barely made it out of my throat. but, she still slowly shuffled out.

"i was going to talk about it to you tonight." i moved to the long side of the table, so we were opposite of each other.

he learned forward, allowing his palms to support him. "you really wish to go back? to leave all of this behind?"

"we can continue this in france, everything will be just the same." why would things change? how could things change? it's just a big piece of land with a different name and different people.

"i'm not french though."

"good god benedict nobody will care! the queen will love you and so will her people," i continued on, "you'll fit right on in too. everyone there wants to paint."

"if that is truly what you want, then we shall leave in the morning." a smile formed upon my lips. i had seen his world, we practically fell in love in it. but now it would be my world. not all of it, not the part of destroying those who had reason to be diminished.

our lips joined, his hands ventured down around the fabric of my gown. "this still feels like we are doing something wrong." my words were broken up from the quiet engaging of the two of us.

"but it's not. you are my wife, just as any god intended." he leaned away for a moment. "and i intend to show those gods why they brought us together." he was going to right now right?

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and he did.

and we also had a meal with the bridgertons that night.

i guess i could name myself bridgerton since it was technically a part of my legal name now. but it still felt wrong.

something was being hidden from me and i could feel it in my bones.