Drowning

Fifty Seven;

"One double-date. That's all I'm asking." Lauren begs me as she reapplied her lip gloss in the mirror of my old room, which I had moved back into a couple of months ago.

"No, Lauren." I say sternly, turning the page of my book. "No double-dates."

"Zahara, it'd be good for you." Lauren says, turning around to look at me.

"I'm not ready." I say.

"Well, Benjamin is. In fact, he's outside." Lauren says coyly, giving me a sorry smile.

"Lauren, you did not." I hiss, slamming my book closed.

"Look, you can't hide away forever!" Lauren says. "I've respected your celibacy. We all have. But one date. He thinks you're beautiful."

"Wow, thanks so much for respecting my heartbreak." I scoff.

"I know these past couple of months have been so hard for you, Zar. No one's ignoring that." she sighs. "But, there comes a time when you should get back out there again."

I thought about what she'd said for a few moments. I'd cooped myself up in my old bedroom without leaving to go anywhere except work. I'd cried more times than I could count. I'd watched more chick flicks than I could count. Washed my hair an amount I definitely could count, on probably only one hand. Point being- I'd been down, badly. I hated him for it. I hated that he was stolen from me. That any substance on the planet could be so evil as to take my Harry away from me.

"Okay." I finally sigh, after pondering further.

"Okay?" she smiles. "That's great, Zar!" she beams.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Luke's just outside stalling him. I'll tell him that they can come up!" Lauren says excitedly. "You go shower. But be quick. The table is booked for 8pm."

"Alright," I groan, hauling myself out from the bed I had laid rotting in for the past nine weeks.

Lauren scurried off, presumably to grab Luke and my date. With a heavy sigh, I lugged myself to the bathroom and to the shower.

I decided to make a slight effort. Maybe Lauren was right and this would be good for me. Maybe Harry hadn't been 'the one' and Benjamin was. Ha. It was a funny thought, I had many doubts. But still, I decided to look nice. It never hurt to look nice and feel good.

After washing my hair and my body, plus shaving all over, I quickly dried my hair off, ensuring to smooth it as I did so, before applying some light makeup; concealer, mascara, a red lip. I patted off some excess red from my lips to smudge into my cheeks for a little bit of colour. I teased my hair with my fingers and sprayed perfume over myself.

Benjamin was a friend of Lauren's from work. He was 24 and I'd seen enough pictures of him, much to my dismay, to know that he looked like an exact replica of an actor I'd seen on the TV a few times. 'Timothee Chalamet', or whatever he was called. Essentially, this meant that he was ta, with dark curly hair. Which, in Lauren's eyes, confirmed him as my type. Because of him. Because of Harry. He wasn't my type, though. Because he wasn't him.

Pulling on a pair of black jeans and a loose black blouse to match, I decided I looked pretty presentable. I stepped into some Doc Martens before going into the living room to find the threesome.

"Zahara!" Lauren chirps. "Hey!"

"Hi," I say.

Benjamin stood from where he sat on the red leather sofa.

"Hi, I'm Benjamin." he smiles warmly, extending out his hand for me to shake.

"I know," I nod, giving him a tight smile.