Drowning

Sixty One;

I hadn't planned on going with Gemma to greet Harry. In fact, I'd had plans to never see him again. I knew this was impossible, but still, it comforted me for a period of time. But when she called to ask me if I'd go with her, I found myself unable to deny her request. We left at 4am, to get there for mid morning.

The journey there was long but we spoke about endless subjects. Gemma was a good listener and would make a great therapist. She drove the entire way there, and then the entire way back.

Going home looked different than I thought it would. I didn't have any expectations of how Harry would be, or feel- I felt like I didn't know him enough anymore to create a judgement- but the ride home was easy. He didn't seem angry, elated or sad. He seemed calm. Calm was the opposite of my last memory of him before he left.

At some point during the drive home, I fell asleep. To the sound of rain against the metal of the car, I was lulled into a soft slumber.

-

"He looks so different," Lauren whispers to me from where she sat beside me on our sofa.

"I know." I nod. "He looks lighter."

"Less stressed." Lauren says. "He looks younger. And his hairs longer,"

"Yeah." I say. "I don't think I've ever seen him look like this,"

"Me neither." Lauren says quietly.

Luke and Harry were stood in the kitchen chatting. I think they had plans to go and sort out Harry's apartment at some point tonight.

"How was the journey back?" Lauren asks me, her voice low.

"It was fine." I shrug. "I feel like there's so much left unsaid between us."

"Give it time," Lauren smiles.

"Yeah," I sigh. It felt as though our worlds had to collide in order for us to connect.

Gemma had gone to stay in a hotel for the night. She was exhausted from driving so much and Harry didn't want her exhausting herself more. They'd see one another more tomorrow, he assured her.

I tried to zone in on what Harry and Luke were chatting about. They appeared to just be having a general catch-up, but I still wanted to hear. I'd take any glimpse of this new Harry that I could. I was learning all over again.

"You okay?" Lauren asks me.

"Yeah," I sigh. "This just feels weird."

"I know." she nods.

Luke and Harry stopped chatting as they both walked towards us.

"Hey," Lauren smiles.

"Wanna go make-out?" Luke says to Lauren. Lauren laughed.

"What?" she chuckles.

"Harry and Zahara need to talk but neither of them are initiating it." Luke sighs, rolling his eyes.

"Dude," Harry groans. "We're grown adults-"

"Come in my room," I say, smiling softly at Harry. He nodded. Luke and Lauren gave me a thumbs up as Harry turned away to go to my room.

Nerves had started to occupy each cell in my being as we made our way to my room and closed the door. I took a deep breath.

"This brings back memories," Harry chuckles quietly, looking anywhere but at me as he wandered around the familiar room. "I remember the first time I saw this room."

"It looks a little different now," I say. "Not so much stuff."

"This feels funny," Harry says, walking to the window. "I just don't know where to start."