Where Love Finds You

Chapter 18

Copyright © 2020 Sara R Stewart

All rights reserved

This is a work of fiction.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.

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Thankfully, it has been a busy work week and I've been able to sleep better since I first saw Kathy. All I know is I'm less distracted and feel more like myself again and for that I'm grateful.

I didn't have time to eat lunch or even think about anything non-work related all day and I'm thankful. I'm sick of my own drama and the peace from what is in my head is a relief. But now I'm starving and cannot get home fast enough. When I do, it is after seven and I throw a frozen dinner in the microwave and pour myself a glass of wine. Sitting down to eat, my brain seemed to finally come back online, and my thoughts instantly go back to Tahoe.

Ever since I decided I didn't have to make any decisions about him now, it seems to have taken some of the stress out of my interactions with him and left me space to just enjoy feeling excited about our date on Friday. He didn't call it that in his texts, but his kisses the last two times we hung out has made his feelings on the matter clear. I wonder what we will end up doing?

I hope it is something with a lot of people around because I am so sexually frustrated when he is around, I might just do something stupid again. I really just want him to tie me up and fuck me, make me feel small and owned. I wonder if I did that again if I would have another panic attack. I don't really get why that happened; I mean I get it sort of but why now? I really, really enjoyed the sex. I almost wonder if the attack is worth the payoff. Maybe if I don't come it would be ok. Realizing I'm trying to talk myself into more sex with Tahoe I laugh and force my thoughts in a different direction.

With Tahoe leaving in less than a week I wonder if I'll feel sad without his constant pursuit? I haven't hung out with Cheryl this week and I wonder why she hasn't called. I should check in with her to make sure everything is okay. Maybe I'll even tell her about what Kathy said about trust and ask her if she would bring me soup. God that sounds crazy, this therapy is so overdue.

My thoughts drift back to Tahoe again, he is so handsome. Tahoe had a t-shirt on the other night that was fitted, and I could see his tattoos on his arms and it was as if my clit and nipples were on a sensitive setting all night. I felt every movement I made rubbing them against my clothes. Maybe I need to have more sex. I never had a problem before not having sex but then again, I never let myself engage in sex with someone that I was that attracted to.

Turning the TV off I decide to go to bed, it isn't as if I'm watching the TV anyhow. Cheryl texts me while I'm putting on my PJs and says she has been sick and misses me. I suggest brunch on Saturday at Happy Crepes, and she agrees. I ask if she needs me to bring her soup and she says no with lots of hearts. I love that crazy girl.

Hoping in bed I pick up my phone to check my social media feeds and do my nightly goof off routine but instead open my texts with Tahoe. He is so on my mind today. I decide to text him. Maybe I'm losing my mind but somehow having Kathy give me the permission to wait on ending things in a way also feels like permission. I also feel like for the first time I have a safety net, but it isn't Cheryl like Kathy suggests but Kathy. The fact that I pay for her time somehow makes it easier for me to open up. I'm not burdening her, and it is the nature of our relationship.

Sailor: What's the plan for tomorrow. I want to make sure if I'm leaving from work, I have what I need.

Ok, so maybe that was silly sending my fake excuse for reaching out, but it is too late now.

Tahoe: Hey Sailor! I was just thinking of you. How about I pick you up around 5ish and we head to the East side for dinner, where is your office? Hope you like Italian?

Sailor: Can we make it 5:30? And I love Italian.

Tahoe: Perfect, bring a coat because it is supposed to get a little cooler tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing you again. What have you been up to today?

Sailor: I put in a ton of extra hours at work to catch up from being out on Monday. I'm pretty exhausted from this week so in bed early.

Tahoe: You shouldn't put that image in my head. I'm never going to sleep now. What are you wearing?

Sailor: Wouldn't you like to know. Night Tahoe.

Tahoe: You're killing me! Night beautiful.

Plugging my phone in I turn off the light and try to go to sleep. Try being the operative word, given I now have Tahoe calling me beautiful on my mind. The thrill of his quick responses and his attention and flirting lighting me up.

Iremember how excited I felt when I kneeled for him at the Nines. I remember theshock and thrill of his hand spanking me and rubbing my clit. The foreign andnaughty feeling of his finger probing my ass and how owned, I felt. Deciding Ineed to release some of this built-up pressure I take out my vibrator andslowly use it on my clit as I remember him slamming into me with his largecock. I move my vibrator to my channel and use it to fuck myself as I rememberhim owning and possessing my body. When I finally come it is fast and a releasebut frustrating at the same time. I realize I'm in trouble because if Tahoeinitiates sex tomorrow, I'm not going to have the will power to say no.