Just Us //Byler

Chapter 8

                                                                                           Mike

TW: self-harm and suicide thoughts

We sat in the couch watching The shining. I don't complain tho, it's a really good movie! But Will was clearly bored, He hang upside down with his legs on the back of the couch. His overgrown hair in his eyes and pretty red in his face from all the blood coming down to his head.

"Will you shouldn't hang upside down for too long you can faint" Hoping he would listen.

"It's fine Mike, i won't faint" He smiles thru his now completely red face.

I look back at the movie, maybe he will get bored at hanging like that and sit back down again.

I look at the TV again, looking but not focusing, The only thing that are in my mind is Will, Only Will. I just want to turn to my left and kiss the brunette boy. But i can't, He doesn't even like me.

He loves an another boy.

I look back at the TV again, now actually looking. I need to get Will out of my mind, I have no chance.

Suddenly there comes an jump scare. Both me and Will flinched, I look at him. At that moment i see how Will's legs loosening the grep around the couch's back and he falls down on the couch.

With his head right in my lap.

I just stare at the brunette, and we locked eyes. I felt how my ears started to burn and realizing how much i am blushing.

"I...I- uh.. I-Im.. so sorry uh." Will stutters as his face is now in every types of red  as he sit back up. "Oh uh .. I-it's fine! haha!. I just look at him,  him shifting closer to me, his knee hits mine, my cold knee towards his warm. The brunettes eyes in mine.

I didn't know what to do. Suddenly I felt Will's lips meeting mine.

I feel how my whole stomach is on fireworks. I pull away, staring at him in shook. "I didn't- do you. I.." I see the regret in Will's eyes. The hurt.

"I'm sorry Mike.." He had tears in his eyes. And with that he turned around running out of the house.

  What have i done?

                                                                                                                    *

                                                                                                                  Will

I bike home faster than ever, the moment on repeat in my head. I kissed him. And he didn't kiss back. I am a fucking idiot. He's straight. I have ruined everything. He will probably never talk to me again.

I place my bike in front of the door, running into my room and locking the door. I have ruined everything. I pick up my sketch book and try to calm down with drawing, that always works. But now it don't. Everything is my fault. I have ruined everything.

I go to the bathroom. I see the razor laying on the counter beside the sink. I deserve it.

I take it and slowly pulling it against my skin. It didn't even hurt.

One line

two lines

there lines

I watch the blood drip down my wrist. Maybe everything would just be better if i didn't exist? Mike would have a better friend, not a friend like me. Not someone who gets a crush on their best friend.

At this time my whole wrist is covered in blood.

I take a napkin and clean up the blood on my wrist, and putting on some band aids to stop the blood flow.

I walk back to my room, trying my best to cover my wrist with my hand.

I just dump myself on the bed.

I'm so stupid
I'm so stupid
I'm so stupid
I'm so stupid
Why did i do that?

" Are you okay Sweetie, Are you crying?" I hear moms voice outside, fuck.

" Y-yeah I'm t-totally fine" I stutter, shit. She will start to suspect something now.

" You sure?"

"Yeah.."

"Oh okay then, just say if it's something that upsets you sweetie" I make sure that she has walk away from my door before i lay my head on my pillow, slowly drifting into sleep between the sobs.