Just Us //Byler

Chapter 16

   TW: Mention of self-harm                             Mike

Me and Will have soon looked at the whole movie, I don't think it was that scary but Will definitely thought it was scary. He didn't say it but hes nearly suffocation me with all the hugs, but i have to admit its kinda cute.

We have eating up the popcorn that we made a long while ago, Its 9 Pm and i think Will is nearly asleep. Joyce is away on a late shift and Jonathan is at Nancy's again. I look down at Will, he is resting his head on my chest and resting one of his arms on my stomach, he had changed into his "film clothes" witch was grey sweatpants and a dark blue sweater. I can feel his heart beat and somehow it makes me calm. 

I look down at his arm, his sleeve in pulled up a bit and suddenly i start to sweat, my heart is beating fast. Why, when... " Will.. i- why-.. " I start, he looks up at me and i can see the realization in his eyes. He pulls down his sleeve fast and i can see how tears form in his eyes as his voice gets all wobbly and high-pitched as he speaks. " I.. I didn't mean to.. I'm sorry... " He stutters.

I feel sick and lightheaded.. How couldn't i notice? I carefully pick up his arm and pulls his sleeve up. Oh.. His whole arm is full of scars, i just look up at him with tears in my eyes.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... " I just pull him into a tight hug, taking in his scent. " Why.. Why did you..." i say into his shoulder, he pulls out of the hug and looks down at the floor. " I guess everything in my life was so fucked up.. With Lonnie, Troy and James, me being..gay... and what happen before we got together.." I suddenly feel like wanting to throw up, it is my fault. If it wasn't for me.. i don't even want to think about it. " And there was this voice in my head, it told me that it was the only way to get away from the pain.. I know its stupid.. But it was somehow a way for me to escape reality.."

I pull him into a hug again, but this one is more warmer, caring and full of love, maybe a bit of regret too. " I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me.. But just so you know, i will always be here for you okay? No matter what.. Because.. I-.. Because you are the sweetest person in the world " 

I can feel how he nods into my shoulder before i pull out from the hug, i gently put both my hands on his cheeks and slowly leans in. Our lips combine and i feel like I'm whole again, like nothing ever happen. 

My hands on his cheeks and his hands on my waist, i can feel how  i smile into the kiss. Maybe not the most happiest smile but the understanding smile. I hope Will maybe can trust me a little more from now on. But I'm not going to force him to tell me anything.

I pull away and gently rest my forehead on his and a weak chuckles escapes Will's mouth. I lay down again, dragging him with me and playing my arm around his shoulder while he rest's his head in the crock of my neck " I..I love you Will.." Shit.. why did i say that? Maybe he will feel pressure to say it back. Shit did i make him uncomfortable? " I'm sorry Will maybe its to early i-"

"I..love you to Mike"