Sick Like Me

We Don't Have To Go Out

*lil bit of spice right at the start but nothing too serious. Lil bit of angst at the end so be careful. This does somewhat describe panic attacks and minor flashbacks so again be careful.*
~
[1898 words]
~
A low chuckle found it's way to Billy's lips as he cocked his brow at you. "Careful." He warned in a teasing tone as the hand on his stomach found its way to your jaw, thumb running over your bottom lip. His gaze shot between your lips and eyes quickly. "Or what?" You shot back when his thumb left your lip finally. His smirk turned into a sinister grin at your words as he leaned closer to your face. "Keep it up and you might find out." He teased and pressed his lips into yours before you could offer a response. He made sure to be gentle with his kiss which you were grateful for seen as you were still in a bit of pain. Though, this gentleness didn't stay that way for too long as you grabbed and tugged at his shirt. A small wave of pain flew through you but it was enough to bare as the kiss became more rough. He held you in the kiss for a few moments longer before dropping his hand and moving the kiss to your jawline. You gasped at the feeling which caused him to smile between kisses. You tilted your head back, away from his shoulder, as he began to move down to your neck. "Atta girl." He whisper as he gently kissed around the side of your neck, searching for that sweet spot. Once he found it, as if out of instinct, you pressed your body against him. "Fuck." You muttered under your breath as his gentle kisses became a bit more rough. "You like that, babydoll?" He teased before lightly biting at your skin. The sensation caused you to whimper softly as you tugged at his shirt again. He then moved away from your neck and met your gaze again. "What a pretty noise you made for me." He teased followed by a low chuckle. "Fuck you." You shot back as you felt his hand slide onto your thigh. When his lips met your neck once more, you allowed your eyes to flutter shut. Your cross faded state slammed back into you like a freight train and your sense began to fizzle out.

~

Flickering lights caused your eyes to slowly squint open. Your head reeled as you searched for the source, turning to your side to get a better view of the room before you. Your blurred vision faded and you saw Billy smirking by the light switch. "Morning sleepy head." He announced and sauntered his way to the side of the bed. After plopping down on the spot he laid the previous night, he brought a had to your neck, brushing the hair away from it. He had a prideful look on his face as he ran his thumb over the side of your neck. "How'd you sleep?" He asked in a calm, soft tone as your eyes shot to his with confusion from his prideful look. "Fine...I need to go to the bathroom." You spoke quickly as you slid from his hand and out of the bed. You half-jogged your way out of the room before Billy could utter another word to you, and found yourself in the bathroom. You stood there in the dark room for a few moments, stalling until you would see what Billy was so prideful of. You closed your eyes as you flicked on the light and drew in a deep breath before opening them again. "Goddammit Billy." You muttered under your breath as you examined the bruises, love bites, littered around your neck and chest. "Well at least they match the shit on my face." You comment to yourself as you used one hand to graze over the scabs and bruises on your face.

You slam your hands onto the counter and hang your head in defeat as you hear familiar footsteps coming from down the hall. As you lift your head, Billy appears in the doorway. He peers down at you with a shit eating grin that causes you to roll your eyes. "Care to explain there pretty boy?" You gesture to your neck and chest as you shoot him a frustrated glare. Your tone was sarcastic but had a serious undertone to it, which seemed to please Billy in an odd way. "Pretty boy, huh?" You shook your head at his words and turned around to face him, leaning against the counter. "Don't change the subject." You shot back quickly as you watched him eye you like he would a model in a porno mag. You draw in a sharp breath as he steps closer to you, rest his hand beneath your jaw to coerce you into meeting his gaze. "Call it...marking what's mine." He responded in a low teasing tone with that oh so frustrating smirk on his face. You attempted to pull yourself from his hand as you tried to find your words, only to be unsuccessful on both fronts. Billy leaned down close to your ear, his warm breath causing you to shiver. "Don't worry, nothing...too intimate happened. I want you to be completely sober for that." He whispered before returning to his original position and dropping his hand from your jaw. You felt heat quickly snap to your expression and he looked down at you with the smirk ever present on his own expression. Your gaze glanced from the floor to his eyes as you attempted to regain your composure.

~

Walking in the door of your house, you drew in a sharp deep breath. Billy followed behind you and slammed the door shut after he made it inside. Yet another day of unpacking. Though, thankfully it wouldn't be as lonely with Billy helping out. Seen as the two of you had already unpacked your bedroom, you had decided to finally start in on the living room. Almost as soon as you had opened a box to begin shoveling things out, you heard rustling from another spot in the room. Soon after, it quickly ceased and familiar clicks rang out in the room before you heard the familiar tune of Still Loving You by Scorpions. A small chuckle escaped you as you turned away from the box you opened to see Billy making his way to you. As soon as he was close enough to you, he pulled you into him by your waist and you threw your arms on his shoulders. The two of you began to sway slowly to the music for a few moments before his voice broke through. "So there's this party." He started before you quickly shot him a glare. "Another party Billy? Are you fucking kidding me?" Your movements abruptly stopped and you pulled away from him. "Oh come on, don't act like that."

"Act like what? Like I want to be around you without being drunk or high? Oh yeah, cause that's such a fucking crime." You shot back quickly as you turned away from him and back to the box you opened. "Come on, just hear me out." As he spoke you could hear the smile still present on his face which frustrated you more. You balled your fists and took in a slow deep breath as you turned to face him again. "You want to make it up to me, right? You wanna prove you're not that douchebag from California anymore? Then spend one fucking night with me and just me. No parties, no concerts, no beer, no weed, none of that." Your tone conveyed repressed anger as you watched Billy's tone contort into frustration. "Y/n you're being ridiculous." At his words you stared daggers into him, trying with everything in you not to blow up at him. "Just one fucking night Billy. Just one night. Prove to me that you can stand to be with me without me being drunk or high because right now it's not looking that way." You shot back quickly as you grabbed at the black shirt Billy had given you to wear. You started to fidget with the bottom of it in hopes of keeping yourself as calm as you could be in the moment. "You're acting like a bitch. You wonder why I want you drunk when you're with me. You only want to be all over me when you are." His tone progressively gained more anger as he spoke and he stepped closer to you. You took a step back as your anger began to be replaced with anxiety. "Show me that you can be around me! Prove that shit to me! Stop being all stuck up and bitchy when you're sober and maybe I wouldn't want you drunk or high all the goddamn time!" As he yelled he raised his hands up in frustration which caused you to jump back in response. When he noticed this, his frustration began to become laced with concern.

You anxiety skyrocketed at the small, seemingly insignificant movement he made and your gaze quickly shot to the floor. As it did, it seemed as though the floor evaporated below you. You threw your arms to your head and stumbled backward as your breathing became labored. Small snippets of the fight from the concert replayed before your eyes which only worsened your panic. You heard Billy's voice but couldn't process what he was saying. He sounded concerned but you couldn't bring yourself out of this state enough to hear exactly what he was concerned about. Your already pained head began to feel like it was spinning as the heightened rate of your breathing took its toll on you. Your fingers dug into your hair, tugging at it to find any semblance of reality to ground yourself. You were unsuccessful but kept trying the same action over and over again. The panic stung your chest as reality completely ripped away from you. Not even muffled voices could be heard anymore. All that was left were the small flashbacks of the fight and the fear that came along with them.

You felt your hands get pulled away from your hair before a quick warmth wrapped itself around you. After a few moments you felt your now tear stained cheek pressed against Billy's chest and your arms grabbing onto him as if your life depended on it. His gentle caressing of your head began to calm your breathing as your eyes squeezed shut and you buried your face in his chest. Finally, you could hear his words once again. "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to...you're gonna be okay." His voice was soft, almost weak. It resembled the tone he took on when cleaning your wounds from the fight, only this time it sounded like he was fighting tears. "I'm sorry y/n...I'm sorry." Your breathing was shaky as you pulled your face from his chest, resting your cheek on it again. Quickly, his hand went from the back of your head to your face. He ran his fingers over your temple and down to your cheek as he continued to mumble apologies. "We don't have to go out tonight." You heard him mumble through the apologies and gave him a gentle nod. You felt him draw in a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh of relief as he continued to caress your cheek to help you ride out the rest of the panic.