Sick Like Me

Little Talks

[1245 words]
~
As the crowd continued to part, you felt your arm being tugged and Robin's slightly muffled voice coaxing you to follow. Instead of following her, you released yourself from her grip and made your way to the clearing being made. Once there, Billy stepped out, glancing around until finally laying his eyes on you. You shot him a drunken smile and laid your arms on his shoulders.

"Billy! I've been looking for you—"

"You missed it man. You should've seen the way she was dancing with that blonde chick."

You glared over at the unfamiliar face before quickly returning your gaze to Billy. He was clearly becoming upset as he stared back at you, waiting for you to explain yourself. You simply rolled your eyes and laughed.

"Let's go do some shots."

You offered, as a distraction from the current situation. Billy seemed displeased but agreed nonetheless. He then took your arm and ushered you away from the crowd.

~

A click from the bathroom door signified it's locking as you sat on the cold tiles, shot glasses beside you along with a bottle of only god knows what. Billy slid down the wall on the other side of the glasses and poured a shot for each of you. Before he could even sit the glass down, you took it from him and downed it. You cringed at the stinging feeling before setting the glass down.

"You wanna tell me what happened out there?"

Billy asked, breaking the silence before downing his shot as well. His tone was calm, as if he was asking a simple 'get to know you' question. You turned your attention away from him and fixed it onto the mirror mounted above the counter in-front of you. You smirked a bit and let out a breathy laugh.

"Why do you care?"

You asked in a seemingly joking manner that even caught you off guard. Billy's eyes were fixed on you and you could feel it. He didn't seem upset though, which was odd to you. Perhaps it was the drinks, or perhaps he didn't believe anything had actually happened, you weren't sure which; if either of those options were even true. He let out a soft sigh and you heard him pour another shot.

"Nothing happened. I was just hanging out with Robin and...you know how these people are, they'll make anything seem like more than it is."

The light tap of a glass signified that he had finished another shot. You were surprised at the lack of response from him. This surprise caused you to look over at him. He was still fixed on you. He looked slightly confused, as if still processing your previous question. You mimicked his confused expression and he suddenly shot back to life, like had been daydreaming just before.

"Why do I care? What kind of question is that? Why wouldn't I care?"

"You want me to be honest?"

Your response was immediate, like the words were just waiting for the right moment to jump out. You quickly glanced down at your full shot glass before meeting his eyes again. He had a look that told you to continue...so you did.

"Considering the fact that you've been nothing but an absolute douchebag to me since we met in California, I think I have every right to question why you suddenly care. You never cared before...not like this. What changed? Why now?"

Your questions seemed to startle Billy...or was it your tone when asking them? You weren't mad, you were simply asking as if they were the easiest questions he could possibly answer. To you, they were. You thought it would be as simple as him telling you that he just wanted a fling or that he's 'grown as a person,' or whatever other kind of bullshit he could come up with. As you awaited his answer, you downed your shot and returned your gaze to the mirror.

"Well..."

He muttered out, clearly still shocked by your questions. You drew in a deep breath, ready for whatever bullshit he was about to tell you.

"I don't know."

Your confused expression returned. You kept your eyes fixated on the mirror as you heard him shift a bit. The feeling of his eyes left you. You leaned your head back against the wall, now gazing up at the ceiling.

"You don't know?"

You paused for a moment to allow him to explain, if he even had an explanation. When you were met with silence, you let out a soft sigh.

"You don't know why you care about what I do, who I'm with, what I'm wearing, any of that?"

"No."

"Do you really not know, or do you just not want to tell me?"

You were met with silence again...you had your answer. Your head fell to the side, now looking at Billy again. His eyes were shut, as if trying desperately to escape reality.

"Billy?"

His eyes opened and moved toward you as he hummed in response.

"I want to know—no—I need to know why."

"Why's that?"

"Because—I just need to know."

Silence grew in the room again. Your stomach sank for some unknown reason as you waited for him to say something...anything. When he still didn't respond, you sat straight up and turned yourself to face him.

"Billy, please. Just tell me. Why—"

"Okay...okay, fine."

You waited nervously for him to speak again as he too shifted himself to face you. He watched as he drew in a soft breath and looked down at the glasses between you.

"I just...I care...about you. I don't know why. When I saw you that day at the mall—after I thought I'd never see you again—I remembered...I remembered how shitty I was to you and how badly I wanted to make it up to you. I could've gone about it better and I know that, but I didn't know any other way to do it. I wanted to fix it...back in California, but I didn't have the chance. You got so distant before I left and again, I never thought I'd see you again, so I pushed it all aside and decided to forget about it. Then you showed up here and I thought I finally I had a chance to fix it. So I tried. I know I was still an asshole that day and I won't say that I'm not now, but it's because I'm—"

He stopped himself for a moment. He looked as though he was trying to find the right word as you desperately tried to get him to continue. He was opening up to you, something you never thought you'd get from him. Something you may not get again after tonight. Just as you were about to speak and tell him to go on, he chimed in again.

"I'm scared. I know it sounds...childish, but I'm scared. I don't wanna lose you again. There's so many people out there who can do so much better than I can but...I'm selfish I guess. I don't want you running off with someone else...at least not until I've tried to fix this. That's why I've been so...protective."

The silence returned once more. He finally looked up at you again, seemingly waiting for you to respond. Your gaze quickly fell to the glasses as you readied yourself to speak.