Metal Storm

I Wanna Be Somebody

               
               -August 1986. Ystad, Sweden-

    Many called me a bookworm, a nerd, whatever.
I never saw any of those terms as an insult though.
My teachers told me that I was gifted, that I was naturally smart. I guess they were right in some way. I could get straight A's in school without even trying. I never had many friends, however, but I was fine with that just as long as I had my metal records, electric guitar, and books.
The first two things, I kept secret from almost everyone except for my family.
Back then, you'd get called a Satan worshipper if you listened to anything heavier than the Beatles but it's not like anyone would believe that me, a girl with sandy blonde hair, a dainty heart shaped face, and bright green eyes who usually wore mom jeans and knit sweater to school, if I told them that I could play the entire Slayer album "Reign In Blood" on guitar.
So, as I was walking back from school one late summer afternoon with my closest friend Astrid, a small piece of paper nailed haphazardly onto a telephone pole caught my eye.
I don't know what it was that prompted me to glance at it a second longer, just long enough to read the messy handwriting, perhaps a greater being. Maybe even Satan himself.
The few words that I made out engrained themselves into my brain:
"RHYTHM GUITARIST WANTED. IF SLAYER, METALLICA, VENOM, CELTIC FROST, ETC, ETC ARE YOUR SHIT, MEET US AT..." along with a phone number and a "CHRISTIAN PUSSIES AND POSERS FUCK OFF!!!" scrawled at the bottom in bold black sharpie.
Little pentagrams and inverted crosses decorated the paper like advertisements to join a Satanic cult.
Astrid giggled and tossed back her curly red mane as we walked by.
"You're not really thinking of joining one of those weird bands are you?"
    I shrugged.
    Astrid and I didn't have a lot in common other than our love for literature but I still considered her my best friend regardless of her thoughts on my other interests.
    "Haven't you heard all the stories?! Those guys are nuts! They all probably sacrifice goats and drink the blood of virgins."
    See what I mean?
    She'd crossed her arms and now stood in front of me, an irritated expression on her face.
    "Yeah, I sacrifice goats in my room and drink their blood. Problem with that?" I joked.
Astrid rolled her eyes and we continued our walk, talking about school and the Back To The Future movie which we'd seen in the theatre last weekend.
The poster never once left my mind during the walk home and when night breathed her ice cold breath upon the country, I lay in my bed staring up at the cracked ceiling and thinking of a different life...a life on the road, playing and touring. A life that my parents and teachers would probably never approve of but one that I'd often dreamed about having.
Music had always been a sort of side-hobby for me but I had wanted it to be more than that.
And now I had a small chance of making that all a reality even though I had no experience in playing with a band and there was a big chance that I wasn't even gonna be accepted in the first place. Still, I decided that it was worth a shot and maybe I was throwing my life and academic potential away but I decided to give the phone number that had been written on the poster a call.
I'd always just went along with the flow and allowed people to make my choices for me rather than do what I truly wanted anyways.