Every Bullet

Chapter Forty Three

Crystal

We stopped by at the McDonalds drive thru and ordered food, after we finished eating, he started driving again. I sighed as I noticed him getting tired. "Bub, you look tired. I can drive for us naman, just tell me where we are going."

He smiled and faced me and shook his head. "It's a surprise and besides, I don't want you to get tired, don't mind me—"

kulit

"But, you're getting tired, let me—"

He chuckled, shushing me. "Love, I know you can drive, you're even a faster driver than me but I badly want you to be surprised of where we are going. I'll just make kwento to you." He raised both of his eyebrows before talking, attention on the road. "I'll give you a clue."

I nodded, defeated but at the same time happy because this is the first time he'll be talking about himself with me. "Start then." I rested my head on the back of the seat, staring at him and waiting for his story.

"I grew up in this hometown, where we're going and I know that you're wondering why my hometown isn't in manila. I want you to know na anak ako sa labas."

Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko, hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sakanya habang unti unting napatakip sa bibig ko dahil sa gulat sa sinabi niya.

He's a what now?

"You're probably shocked and I understand if you want to break up with me after this—"

Pinalo ko siya sa braso at napa-irap. "Stupid, why would I break up with just because of that?"

He faced me and gave me a sad smile. "Because you don't deserve someone like me—" you don't understand love, it's the other way around.

Unti unti akong napasimangot sa sinabi niya at mabilis na umiling. "I deserve you, you deserve everything. Please, don't overthink that I'll break up with you just because of that because it doesn't really matter, okay? Now continue."

His face lit up and excitedly talked. "I grew up with my grandfather in my Mom's side, obviously. I lived with her until she died because of a car accident, I stayed with her family side and became very close with my grandfather. He took good care of me, gave me everything and loved me truly." He smiled after reminiscing about his grandfather making me happy. "I can't lose him, he's all that I got in my family."

"He treated me so well that's why I can't afford if I found out that I'll lose him too, he protected me from everyone, taught me how to fight, even taught me how to cook and take care of a woman. He did everything for me."

You grew up so well, Magnus.

He sighed. "But, after Mom died, Dad took me and transferred me in Manila, there I met my half-brother whom I got really close with, we became really close to each other, and we even trained together and studied together, even traveled together and did a lot of bad things together. We were so inseparable." He bit his lower lip before holding my hand, like he's energizing or something. "But, he died."

I gasped, I can't even look at him and refrained myself from crying. I held his hand tighter as I caressed it. "Love..." mahinang pagtawag ko na agad naman niyang nilingon at ngumiti ng mapait.

I felt my heart ache for a second making me more confused, I'm feeling guilty all of a sudden but I don't know why, maybe I just can't really afford seeing him like this.

"We just got a call that they found a body, I cried for weeks after his death, I didn't even attended his funeral because I can't bear seeing him lying on that coffin, feeling guilty that I didn't do anything just to save him or protect him even if I had the power to do so..." I gulped hard after seeing how his tears began to fell from his eyes, he stopped the car on the side of the road and broke down in front of me. "I can't even give him justice, I'm such a stupid brother. He who treated me well but I didn't had a chance to give him back of all the things he did for me even though I'm just an illegitimate child."

I hugged him, and kissed the top of his head. "Don't call yourself just an illegitimate child cause you're more than that, I'm sure he's in a paradise now, happy and contented. Please don't be guilty, I know you did everything for him too." I cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears.

It hurts me, it hurts me seeing him broke down in front of me, crying like a child, being miserable. It hurts, it just hurts me because he doesn't deserve this, and his tears are too precious to fall from his eyes.

"U-until now, I still can't find who killed him..." I felt my heart beat getting faster for an unknown reason, my brows furrowed as I stared at him. "after he died, dad became fore furious, beating me, blaming me and such, drinking non-stop and gave me all the pressure, even starved me for weeks , chanting my brother's name several times and treated me like trash."

I began tearing up as I hugged him tighter, resting my chin on top of his head, caressing his back as I heard him cried more painfully. "l-love, y-you don't have to—"

"I trained harder, I trained and trained, even stole foods at a convenience store, got engaged on something illegal, started drinking and smoking in such a young age. I even broke down in front of him but he didn't care and threw me a glass of liquor—"

"l-love, s-stop—"

"I got beaten up by others at a bar, I felt so weak and stupid, and I felt so powerless and useless that time. Crying like a child, begging for someone to save me, begging that grandpa will take me again but he didn't.." he shook his head and pulled me closer to him, crying. "But then, Tiger found me, your uncle found me and trained me, until I became stronger..."

"Then Nathan found me and befriended me, we played together until we decided to build a band when Icarus came, it's actually weird how I became closer with Icarus. I felt like I've known him before already or it's just his friendly aura."

"I'm so grateful of your Uncle for coming to my life, for helping me. And when I knew and realized that I can live by myself, I came home to dad and decided to take care of our business and live away from him. We're still not in good terms but I already forgave him and respects him because he's still my father—"

"w-why?" mahina kong tanong. "why are you so kind? Why?" why would he forgive his father like that so easily?

World don't deserve someone as precious as him, I don't deserve to be with such a fragile human being who had a lot of challenges in life but stood up and fought his soul out. I don't deserve someone like him, I don't deserve him.

I clearly don't.

He doesn't deserve being engaged with my life, he doesn't deserve cleaning up my messes. How can he be so kind? Why?

"I'm not—"

"'you are such an angel, what have they done to you?" I caressed his hair and began sobbing, I cupped his cheeks again and kissed his eyes. "Your tears are too precious to fall from your beautiful eyes..." he stared at me as I caressed his cheeks.

"d-don't leave me..."

My heart dropped as soon he said those words, words that broke me. I felt a lump on my throat, refraining me to breathe properly as I shook my head numerous of time. I kissed him and let out sad laugh. "I won't..."

Cause I should be the one begging, not you...