Every Bullet

Chapter Twenty Five

Crsytal

"love, its time to go."

I faced Magnus who's running towards me, sweats all over his handsome face while his hair is being blown away by the wind, gracefully.

Damn, how can he be so handsome? I cannot believe that he's my boyfriend. Who would have thought that he will fall in love with me? I'm honestly still shock and speechless right now how his voice is calming yet powerful. Powerful to the point that it tames the demons inside me.

His words are actually new to me, the comfort he gives is making me happy but its making me feel that I don't really deserve him.

he's fragile and I can't bear to break him.

He may say that I deserve him but the truth is no, I don't. He's too precious for me, he's pure while me? not healed and a pure devil. I'm afraid that I 'll hurt him more, I'm afraid that the devil inside me won't spare him. I was born ruthless, dangerous, killer and a mafia, how can I deserve someone like him?

I didn't talk to him while inside the car, he said that we're going somewhere and I didn't asked after that,. Napapikit ako nang maalala ang nangyari kanina, what the fuck was I thinking? What's wrong with me? fuck. I shouldn't have done that, I'm giving him more reasons to leave me and I don't want it.

I don't want him to leave me, I can't.

I sighed as I stared at him, reminiscing what the fuck I did to make him fall in love with me? I flinched when he suddenly giggled and faced me, he smiled and held my hand. "stop, staring, hindi ako mawawala sayo. I'll stay, love."

I blinked twice and looked at him in disbelief. I can feel his sincerity that made me more scared, scared of loving him deeply and loosing him while in the process of dealing with my demons. My demons are more powerful, I can't control them and I can't loose them.

"we're here."

I blinked when he said that, oh, I spaced out, not realizing that we're here at the--?! what the fuck?!

My eyes widened when I got off the car, I looked around and I felt the cold breeze of air that hugged me. I heaved a heavy sigh and bit my lower lip as I stare at the place where I always go, where I always cry, where I always go when I'm down. My comfort place.

"welcome home." I froze when I heard what Magnus said, he walked towards the water and stared at my reflection. "welcome back, these waters are really lucky to be able to catch the precious tears of my Queen."

A tear escaped my eye as I ran, feeling what home really feels like. My home, my favorite place and my comfort, Chūbu-Sangaku National Park in the center of Honshu and the Japanese Alps.

Hindi makapaniwalang napatingin ako kay Magnus, how did he knew? I looked down as I refrained myself to cry out loud, my knees are starting to tremble and I can feel how my tears badly wants to escape from my eyes.

no place can make me cry but this place is an exception, I cried buckets here, this place is the witness of my cries and sorrows, it witnessed how I dealt with my demons and decided to just let my demons accompany me. This place witnessed how I begged for peace, and tried to rest in the paradise.

but now, I'm with him.

Now I'm back here again, all the memories from the past suddenly came back again, napapikit ako at napahawak sa ulo ko. I felt myself kneeling in front of the waters, begging again. I broke down here again.

I just want peace, give it to me please.

"l-let me r-rest, p-please." I begged, not minding Magnus who hugged me from behind. I touched the water and let myself cry in front of it again. "I'm t-tired." I felt the wind hugged me.