The Ghost of You [COMPLETED]

Chance

"Luka I..." He started, before running his hand over his mouth. "I wanna start by saying I'm sorry. For...fucking everything. Not just last night, but the last few weeks, the tour, before that, when you last came over-"

"I'm not interested in that." You interrupted, making him frown. You took a breath before continuing. "I've spent a lot of time thinking about when I was away, when we were on tour, when we came back. You didn't exactly give me a choice because you refused to talk to me properly."

"I know and-"

"I'm not done." You said. "I know we've always been in or out. Fully invested, or completely detached. But that night, the last night on the tour when we slept together, I left without telling you because it was a mistake.
Not in the sense that I didn't want it to happen, but because we were both in relationships, and avoiding talking about it got us in the situation where we both cheated on our partners. That's not okay."

"I know. I agree." He nodded.

"Then what was really not okay, was you ignoring me afterwards. I texted you asking if we could talk, and you didn't reply. I know now what was going on with Maggie, and I know why you felt you couldn't break up with her then, but you didn't even talk to me about it. I would have understood."

"I just...I didn't want you to get upset. I didn't want you to think that I didn't want this, because I do, I just-"

"That was a shitty thing to do though, and you need to realise that. Even a text to say something happened, I couldn't do it, but we will talk soon. I would have been frustrated but I would have known that there was still that possibility, and the fact that you just kept me in the dark was horrible."

"I get that." He said, shifting a little closer to you. "I think...I think that I felt like I had to sort things out with Maggie before even talking to you because...because that's what I didn't do on the tour. I didn't sort my life out before trying to bring you back into it and it was, god it was so stressful, being around you, waking up without you, that I was trying to do it right this time."

You nodded. That's what you had thought was the case, and it was reassuring to hear that it was the reason.

"Why did you bring her to the party?" You asked.

"I couldn't think of a reason not to." He sighed. "I tried, I told her loads of things, she should stay with her family, that it's only close friends. I knew James would invite you so I was hoping that...that I could explain everything there. But Maggie was so insistent that she needed the night away from everything and eventually I had no reason not to take her. The second I saw that look on your face...I knew you wouldn't listen to what I had to say."

"Do you think that was wrong of me?"

"No, definitely not." He grabbed your hands and leaned closer. "Trust me, I know I massively fucked up. I always have when it comes to you. By not supporting you going to uni, by everything I said when you came back, the photoshoot, kissing you, not telling Maggie...I know, okay? But I meant what I said last night to you, that throughout all of this chaos, and me fucking up, I'm still as in love with you as the day I fucking met you Luka."

You felt the tear slide down your cheek, and bit your lip to stop yourself opening sobbing as you stared at your hands in his. He took his left hand away to reach up to your face, his fingers lightly wiping the tears away, then he rested it on your jaw as he leaned his forehead to yours.

"I swear to god that I understand I don't deserve anymore chances with you. But if I had one more, I wouldn't fucking waste it." He whispered.

"That's it though Brad, we've already had so many chances." You sniffed, pulling back slightly and looking into his eyes. "Why would this be any different?"

"Because I know what it's like to not have you. And I have to believe that..." He licked his bottom lip before carrying on. "I think we found each other again for a reason. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us that this is it, our last chance." He smiled sadly, and you wanted to smile back, but you just found yourself looking down at your hands again.

"We can't just...go back to how we were."

"I know."

"Do you? I...I'm not sure if I can trust you after all this." You said honestly. "After all these games, the chaos, and not talking to me and-"

"I'm not expecting us to go back to anything." He clarified. "We'd start from the beginning." He reached up to brush some hair away from your face. "Start dating again. Slowly. But on the same page."

You pondered his words. Is it even possible? After all of your history, could you start fresh without any of your past coming back up?

He sensed your hesitation, and shifted again, straightening up a little and clearing his throat.

"I don't need an answer now. But Tris said you broke up with Ryan because...because you wanted this. Us. If you still do...I'm asking you to think about giving it a try. I know what I want, I know what I did wrong. I just need a chance to show you that I mean it."

Your heart was lurching at his words, begging you to tumble into it, to say yes, to kiss him.

Your head was urging you to run away. That he wasn't going to change and it would end up exactly the same.

Pulling your hands out of his, you run them over your face as you breathed deeply. He simply blinked as he waited for you to respond, for you to take the lead on what happened next.

"Do you think we're bad people if we give this another go?" You asked, and you didn't miss the way his eyes glinted in hope. "Realising that we're both still in love with each other three years later when we were in a completely different relationship?" You laughed, and his eyes widened.

"Do you mean that?"

"What?"

"That you're still in love with me too?"

"I..." You swallowed, unaware that you'd let that slip. You weren't planning on telling him that just yet, while you were still figuring out where you stood. Seems that your heart took control for a second there.

"We're not bad people for realising that too late. Bad choices? Possibly." He chuckled, making you laugh a little as well, then he cupped your jaw in his hands and his expression grew serious. "But if you mean that, if you do still...feel that way as well, I think we can figure it out."

Your worried expression softened the more you looked at him, at the boy you grew up with, the guy that had made you feel everything under the sun, and the man that was now laying his heart out for you. Your teeth found your bottom lip as his eyes darted between yours, trying desperately to read what your mind was screaming at you. After a few seconds, you finally settled on an answer.

"Okay." You whispered. He blinked.

"O..okay? Okay as in..."

"Okay...let's try it again."

The grin spread across his face in mere seconds as his brain processed your words, then his hands left your face and wrapped around your body, pulling you into his for a hug as he squeezed you.

"Jesus christ..I was about to have a heart attack." He said in your ear before pulling back. "I promise you...this is it, I'm a hundred percent all-fucking-in. I'll show you I mean it."

"Let's just...go slow, be ourselves, and see if it works. Okay?"

"Definitely." He rested his forehead on yours, biting his bottom lip as he exhaled loudly. "I won't let you regret it, I promise."

You smiled, put your hand on his jaw, then guided his face so that you could kiss him on the cheek.

"Slow." You reiterated.

"Yeah, of course. Slow."