Just another boy band craze ( 1D fan-fic)

Goodbye Lou

A/N the final chapter! what will happen? is lou dead. Read it!!

Sarah's Pov

I watched on as Harry, Liam,Niall and Zayn carried the heavy coffin through the church, a look of sorrow upon each of their faces. The worst part was saying farewell to Lou. there was nothing I could say or do to make things right  nor could I say goodbye, Lou had died in my arms, shot dead because of me. it was all my fault.

I felt an arm on my shoulder and someones hand squeeze mine, it was His mother. I didn't know what to say." I'm sorry" I struggled to choke out,"I should've protected him, he died in my arms." i whisperd. "it's not your fault Sarah,none of us saw it coming and you couldn't of stopped the bullet, You heard the Doctor" I choked back a few tears.Of course i heard the doctor we all did, "the first bullet would've killed him any way, he would've bled to death before the second bullet struck." The words ringing in my head,the first bullet would've killed him anyway, the first bullet would've killed him anyway.I couldn't take it.I wanted my lou back.

"God rest Louis' soul and let him rest in peace." the preist announced  the end of the service. I looked around everyone was now filing out the church. What was I going to do now?without Lou I was lost.Imade my way outside, tears in eye and found the boys in a huddle near the van. Liam wrapped an arm around my shoulder, I could barely feel it my body was that numb." how are you feeling?" I knew he was saying it out of the sencerity in his heart but surely he knew how stupid that question was. Today was Thursday, Lou passed away Monday but his family couldn't make it to Melbourne until  yesturday so today we held the funeral. "im holding up ok, I guess." I just wanted Lou back, for him to wrap his arm around me and say surprise as if it was some sick joke.I wanted to bury my head in his chest but that was all gone now. There was going to be no more of his laugh, no more late nights talking, no snuggling up, he was gone I just couldn't wrap my head around that part. I drempt he was going to commit suicide and as it turned out that same  day he got shot. I remember it as clear as day, Id just told him the story about his cousin Tom when the first gun shot went off, at first I thought I was crazy until he told me to get down. There was another shot, it hit him in the shoulder and then a few more shots after that and he was lying on the floor with his blood seeping out of the  wounds, I grabbed him by the shirt and called for help, I wasn't going to let him die, there was so much we hadn't done, but they were too late. The ambulance arrived but he was already dead " im sorry mam, but he's dead."  first I thought they were joking but then it sank in Lou wasn't coming back.

Harry's pov

Everyone has to die some time I just didn't expect Lou to die now, not like this at hands of a killer. God I just didn't get it why Lou why us, I'll admit to thinking at one point why Lou why not her? I don't hate sarah but in a situation like this it's hard not to think it was her fault he died. even if she is my cousin, i feel like she took him from me, from us.

Lou was by best mate, he was a good bloke and a friend to all. you could really have a laugh with Lou and not feel like a dick head.Lou included everyone and you never felt left out around him, he never had favourites. Despite our fans craze for Larry as far as Lou and I went we were JUST mates.we had a good laugh putting on a performance pretending to be more, for the fans sake, but lou always knew when, enough was enough. The best thing about Lou was he never gave up.

*knock, Knock* I turn around and see her standing in the door way.

" come in" i tell her, though all I really want is to be alone.

""what you got there?" she asks gesturing to the  tear stained note book in my hands. In my defence boys can have diarys too.

" This? oh thats nothing just my book." I say shoving it under my pillow.I wish I didn' thave to lie after all she is my cousin.

"come on Harry, you can't stay like this forever. we need to talk about this!" that's why i'd stayed in my bed and hidden the note book, i didn't want to talk I was afraid what would come out of my mouth if i did.so I stayed away and told my note book everything.

" No sarah! I don't want to talk! it's ok for you, You loved him, but me? where do I fit in im just one of the boys! his family doesn't care about me. they feel  for you because your his girlfriend but me who supports me? i was his friend just like the others but you seem to have forgotten that? it's as if it's your funeral! so just Fuck off and leave me alone! okay?" that wa sall I had to say and that shut her up, she walked out and there was a silence between us for weeks. I only talked to her when I had to other times we just minded our own business. I went out most days, mainly to the pub. The boys didn't care, they hadn't spoken a word to me either until one day zayn found me in the bathroom. I was a wreck. Crying, yelling, kicking, screaming. I couldn't live without Lou, it hurt too much but I couldn't leave Zayn and the others. I couldn't.

He found me just in time too, I had a knife in my hand, i'd been slitting deep bloody wounds into my wrists hoping the pain would ease but it didn't. I was going to slit my throat when I heard him. "Harry" **Bang** he bashed on the door. " harry? open up. please. for me we have un finished business." unfinished business? I had no clue what he ment so I opened the door any way. his eyes were red raw and his hair hadn't been brushed for weeks, mind you neither had mine. "Harry what are you doing....?" he asked but I think the blood dripping from my wrists explained it all.and the knife? what did he think about that?I still loved Zayn and didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want him to think wrongly of me either. I dropped the knife and slid to my knees crying. " it's not fair zayn. It's not fair." a tear escaped his eye. " I know haz, I know. but you can't lock yourself up like this forever, you need to talk.You need help.more help than any of us can offer."

" how come you don't hate her??" It didn't make sense how I felt so much hate for her even if she was my cousin but, Zayn, Niall and Liam were blind to it. it didn't make sense." hates a strong word. It feels good to blame someone some time but she isn't the person to blame.Harry. She couldn't stop them. it's not her fault and it's not yours either."

" what am I going to do then, I can't live like this but im not sure I can forgive her."

"we'll work it out." he said soothingly. He took my hand in his and gave it a gently squeeze. "i love you Harry." there they were the words that made me melt everytime, words i hadn't heard in a long time.

" I love you too zayn." those words i was sure of. i loved him alot.The one question that i had left that hadn't been spoken about yet was " what about One Direction? what do we do now? we can't sing without Lou and we certainly can't replace him."

A/N thats it guys. what do you think? exciting, sad?Love it? Hate it? well if you did like this story make sure to watch out for my co-write with @EternalSilence

Thanks xo

Lauren Jayne :) x <3