❝ synthetic ❞╭──╯ . . . . . gerard way

11: looks can fool the mind but eyes relay the truth

"I said I don't wanna," I somewhat whined as I tried to break free, struggling and squirming around, though his hands weren't trapping me physically, I felt trapped. Forced into listening to what he had to say, even if I didn't want to hear it. 

"Please, [name]," He called desperately, in a quiet tone. I was silent, nodding for him to continue. "After our fight... I thought you hated me. That you were done giving me that chance you promised- I- fuck, [name]." 

He fumbled over his words as I stared blankly at him. 

"You don't have to be with me," I started. He looked confused and hurt; like I uttered the most disgustingly baffling sentence he had ever heard. "You can be with her since you were pretty eager to,"

"[name]... I was only with her to punish myself... I felt- I felt like I deserved to hurt myself for the pain I caused you, but it hurt you too. There's no way I'd be with her when I love you- I uh... fuck."

"What?" I choked out, eyes bulging wide in shock. My heartbeats sounded heavily in my head, and my brain was not responding well. 

"Shit... I- I didn't mean to say that," I tried to contain my laughter at the frantic boy in front of me, mumbling about how stupid he was while pacing back and forth. It brought me back to reality, which was pleasant but now I gotta figure out some kind of response.

He took a breath, taking both my hands in his. 

"Ok... I don't want to scare ya' off. But I do love you. Everything about you is absolutely perfect in my eyes, and it bothers the shit out of me." He joked, earning a curt smile from my surprised self. "After our argument, I thought that... well, you hated me. So I took it pretty hard. The person of my dreams not wanting anything to do with me hurt so fuckin' much. And I did some stupid shit. I got into fights at bars n' shit. Worst of all, I let that bitch flirt with me. I hated every second of it. I deserve you being upset with me. I said some mean shit to you and if I could go back and do it over, it would be so different."

He held regret in his tone as looked at me apologetically. 

"I'm willing to forgive you if you don't ever do shit like that again! And don't beat yourself up over it. We weren't even together so I shouldn't be upset about Jessica," I poked him, with a half smile. He had a wide grin as he childishly scooped me into his arms. "Put me down!!" I said in a fit of laughter as he spun me around. "GEraRD!!"

"Fine, fine," He said, plopping me back onto my feet. "I'm just so happy,"

"Yeah but uhm... one thing," I said sorta awkwardly, the atmosphere shifting from the playful one we had just entered into one of unease. 

"Hm?"

"Can we set some like... ground rules?"

"Sure thing, sugar," He smiled. God, that smile will be the death of me. "Watcha thinkin'?"

"I don't think I'm ready for labels yet." I reasoned fairly, I didn't think this request was too much. I couldn't handle the pressure of being in an official relationship, so this was a good way to ease into it I suppose. 

"I'm alright with that, but I want us to be loyal to each other." He added with a serious look in his eyes, he was very sure about this rule. 

"Yeah, I agree," The air became slightly tense, but not in the same way as before. This time it was filled with an unspoken desire. His gaze softened as his lips parted slightly. He waited a few moments, which felt like ages. I just wanted him to fucking kiss me. And before I knew it, I latched onto his lips, attacking them hungrily. He kissed back just as fiercely, biting my bottom lip. I opened up for him as we battled for dominance, which he quickly won over.