❝ synthetic ❞╭──╯ . . . . . gerard way

5: 'old feelings fade with maturity, bret.'

HES TOO PRETTY I CANT--

-

My curtains were thick, so no light entered my room and I was getting tired of it. I need to see the light!!! (dramatic inner thoughts, am i right) 

I sat up tiredly as I trudged over to the curtains, remembering Gerard could have his open and see this. But I was hoping fate was on my side and he either had his closed or he wasn't there. 

I spread my curtains wide, bracing to see anything. To my disappointment, his curtains were open, and there he sat. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and then back to whatever he was doing. 

I sighed before flopping onto my bed. Seriously, did he get into another fight or what?

I shouldn't be thinking about him. 

See if he's ok.

...

You see, I'm not the impulsive type, right? I wouldn't do anything stupid... Unless...

Sighing at my idiotic idea, I wrote in large letters a sign that read "Are you okay?" 

But, I then remembered our argument yesterday. About how I "didn't care" but despite what he believes, I still think he's the same comic-loving, drama boy and care deeply about that side of him. 

Maybe showing that sign will make him realize that I do care. That I'm not just an asshole that left him there that day. I regret that day so. fucking. much. I made so many damned mistakes I can hardly believe I deserve any better treatment from him. I deserve him lashing out at me for hanging out with his friends. I deserve his ignorance of me. I deserve his hatred toward me.

As I was lost in thought, I didn't realize my hands were idly sketching. I looked at my drawing to see a rough image of Gerard on the sign. His features were defined enough to know it was him, sadly.

Why would my hands subconsciously draw him? Wait I was just thinking about him- Wait, I was thinking about him? Not like that- It was diffe...

Shit. I was thinking about him. All lies and excuses aside, the bottom line is that I was thinking about him!

My face suddenly got a little hot. 

Maybe if it's not Mikey... what about- *vrr*

My phone vibrated on my desk. 

Bret: "hey [name], i know its been a while"

My heart rate increased slightly when reading the sender's name... weird. Bret was an old friend. He was the one who got me into the drums, actually. 

me: "it has. what's up?" 

bret: "not much, j wanted to see if u
               wanted to hang out sometime"

me: "sure. when did u have in mind?"

bret: "today at 11,, i can pick u up
              and we can get lunch?"

me: "sure,, ill be ready for when 
you get here"

bret: "kk"

I smiled at my phone. I missed talking with Bret. As kids, Gerard and Bret had a mutual disliking for each other. I made them hang out since I enjoyed spending time with them both, so they would try to be friends. 

Shit, I just thought about Gerard again.

me: "what r we gonna do?"

bret: "ill take u out to lunch and we
              can j chill after if u want"