Finding my own way

x 5

BANG BANG BANG! woke me up in my room. That dream that I had I wish was true. I looked around in my tiny room to see if everything was still in place and no one had come in.

Window: bars still on and locked

Door: chair still under the knob

Everything was good. I felt dirt, used, lonely, tiered of fighting. I was just done with my life. I had thoughts of killing myself after that night, I just don't know what to even do anymore, I don't know who to tell or who to come to, I felt like no one would believe me.

I got up and took a shower so I could get ready for work. I got dressed in black pants pink shirt and black and pink shoes. I removed my chair and unlocked the door. I took a deep breath and walked out, I looked around and saw no one in site.

I walked down stairs and onto the sidewalk. I meant a mental note about going to the store and buying some things for my room. See what I was going to do was make my room much safe for me to come in and get out if there was any danger coming for me.

I also thought abut getting a car when I turn 16. That shouldn't be a bad idea too.

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(After Work)

I walked into the store Walmart, and got things I might need for my room. I went into the bathroom section and got things for my bathroom. Then went in the bedroom section to get and more stuff for my room. I also got a min fridge for my room and a little microwave too. Then went to the food section to get food for the fridge and cleaning supplies.

I paid for everything and went on the 5:30 bus and went home. I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about my mom or dad messing with me cause they were "work" today and all night so that was a good thing. I got off and sarted walking to my house. I didn't look at anyone here or talk to no one cause I didn't want to add on to the mess I have already.

I ran upstairs and unlocked my door, checked all the room to make sure no one was here and stated working. I grabbed my dads power tools and took of the black old nasty rusty bars that were on my window. I looked out and saw the fire escape, that's a good place for me to run when I need to. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the mop the broom and other things and cleaned my room. After I was done with that I plugged up the fridge and microwave and put all the food in the fridge.

I made up my bed and put all my new stuff on there along with my new stuff in my bathroom. I checked the time and saw that it was over an hour so like 7ish. I knew that they wouldn't be home soon so I counted all the money have had left over in my jar, and I had a good amount left over so I got my bag and put my money inside of it. I hopped out of my room and walk outside again only to buy more clothes and pay the cable bill in my room. When I got back there was no one here still.

I took a shower and cooked for me only and did something to my door. I changed the knob on there so I'm the only one that has a key to the door, I also put another lock on the door just to be safe. I got board and walked around the tiny apartment. I walked in my parents room and looked around. There was so may things that were in here that wanted me to trow up. Then I saw the picture of all of us before everything went wrong. I stared to cry. I just sat there and cried. I stared to think about everything.......... why did everything had to happen to me?

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I got up and walked to my room and lied down on my bed and stared to doze off. At around 12:00 I heard yelling and screaming going on. I got up and put my body against the cold door. I heard my dad yelling at my my mom abut something but I couldn't make it out. Then I heard a slap.

"YOU STUPID BITCH! I DONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING SEX WITHOUT ANYTHING ON YOU!"

"Baby I'm sorry I didn't know I didn't have anything on! I'm sorr-"

SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP! all at once. "damn! she's getting fucked up" I thought.

"Baby what ever you want me to do I'll do it just don't don't hurt me or the baby! Please!"

I know I just didn't hear that right.... she got pregos by some other nigga? A part of me is happy but the other part is scared and worried. I don't my little brother or sister growing up in this house. I don't my younger bother to sell dope just like my oldest and like my dad. I don't want my little sis going through what I'm going through, I don't want my dad to rape her like her did to me and I don't want her to sell her body like my mother does. My room is fairly big enough for a crib and stuff for the baby.

"Find bitch but this finna over, as soon as you have that damn baby you're working for me again. You're going to do what I tell you to do. Ight?"

"Ight daddy what ever you say."

"come on" my dad said.

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Janet's P.O.V

I walked into the room where my husband was and sat on the bed.

"take off your clothes now." he told me.

I stood up and stared to take off my "work clothes" and stood there waiting for his next move. He got up and walked over to me without any clothes on. He slapped me on the bed and got on top of me. He open my legs and went down. He put his face in my oven which made me go crazy. He grabbed of hold onto my leg and slurped like he had a icy in his hand, I came onto his face and licked me me up like it was nothing. He looked at me in my eyes as he slid into me. I was still tight cause it felt like my first time with him. I stared to call out his name as he went deep and fast.

Our lips met and shared a lingering kiss as he pulled out from the tip and went back into me very slow. The eyes rolled in the back of my head.

"look at me." he said to me. Trying to look at him was the hardest thing. I tried with everything in me but nothing worked.

I played with myself while he was going in. HE kiss my neck making me wet all over again and finally I came all over him and he gave head again and went to bed. I was laying there thing about the baby and what type of danger was I going to put it through.

"I want you to keep the baby." he said to me while puling me towards him.

sorry I haven't been updating I got ya'll the next day tho night loves!

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