One week. One week since I hit rock bottom. I have lost two friends and the rest of my sanity. The only good thing that has come out of this was me being single again, and even though Felix was a shit boyfriend I can't help but feel even worse about myself. If I'm not good enough for someone like him then who am I good for? Getting back together with him was a really dumb decision, why couldn't I have remembered the saying 'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'?
I haven't been to dance practice. I've been to work though, avoiding the girls as much as possible while trying to do your job is hard. The easy part is Katelyn not talking to me, makes it easier for me not to talk to her. Society doesn't need me and I don't need society. I just need to live my life alone it seems, it is better that way. No one to hurt me, no one for me to hurt. Alone.
I sigh, wrapping my blankets tighter around me as I finish reading the Harry Potter series for the hundredth time. At least I am able to read more now, that's good... right? Someone knocks on my apartment door and I drag myself up and out of bed, already guessing who I was going to be faced with on the other side of the door. "We need to talk." Katelyn says as I open the door, walking in with Alice and Kelly. I just sigh, going back over to my bed and sitting down.
"Come to officially kick me out of the dance group?" I say glumly.
"Of course not!" Alice exclaims.
"We've come to say that we need you to start coming back to dance practice, we've called you a million times but you won't answer our calls." Kelly says.
"I don't own a working phone anymore."
"What?"
"My phone is no more." I open my bedside draw, pulling out my phone to show them the broken piece of metal that once was my iPhone.
"Violet, we think that you need help." Katelyn comes to sit next to me.
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not. And not dancing is not going to make you feel any better. You need to be surrounded by people who love you and doing the things you love."
"And Velvet-"
"Left us to join Felix. We were going to kick her out of the group as she's been slacking off and acting like the world revolves around her." Alice interrupts. "Besides, we don't want negative people around us."
"I'm a negative person." I mumble.
"Maybe now, but that's not the real you."
"We can't go to nationals without you Vi. And not just because you need four people to enter, but because it wouldn't feel right to not have you there." Katelyn say. I sigh, I hate being in this state of mind. It's mentally and emotionally draining. Maybe I can at least try to be happy? And these girl have been training for ages to get there. We've been training for ages.
"Yes." I say
"Yes?" Kelly asks, unsure.
"Yes I will compete in nationals." I half smile, being tackled down onto my bed as Alice, Kelly and Katelyn hug me. "So are we friends again?" I ask Katelyn.
"Forever." She pinches my cheek.
"And I'm sorry by the way."
"What for?"
"For spending time with Connor, I can see how that would make you upset. I will keep my distance." I say, sadness overcoming my happiness once again.
"You don't have to be sorry Violet, and you don't-"
"No, I am sorry. Your friendship is too valuable and I don't want to lose that. So if that means losing a friend to keep you," –I take a deep breath- "then so be it."
"Violet that is probably the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me, in a weird way. But, no. Connor and I broke up."
"What?!" Kelly, Alice and I exclaim.
"It took me a while to figure out, I like him... But I don't love him. I just can't see a future with him, I just keep seeing you and him Violet. You love him, I can see it. The way you look at him. And he loves you too, he just hasn't realized it yet because I've been standing in the way." Katelyn takes my hand.
"This is a lot to take in, I think I need to think about all of this."
"Okay, we'll see you at practice tomorrow." Katelyn, Alice and Kelly start to leave.
"Bye." I say just before they shut my bedroom door.
I don't know if I feel less or more stressed than I did when I woke up. Supposedly Connor loves me, yet he doesn't know. How is that possible? My friends love me, except for Velvet, who isn't really our friend anymore. And nationals is in two weeks and we haven't come up with any routines.
I look over at my clock, 10 pm. I guess I should get some sleep considering I have practice early tomorrow...
'Where am I? Why is it so dark?' I think, squinting to try and see my surroundings. There are girls laughing in the distance. I know those laughs. They're the popular crowd from my high school. "Hey Violet! When are you going to be marrying that boy band member of yours?" they call.
'They're not a boy band!' I want to scream, but don't. I never do.
"Maybe you should wear more colours than just black." A different group calls, the 'cool boys'.
'Maybe you should stop breaking me inside.' I remain emotionless. Where are my friends? I walk through the darkness, alone. Never did I think I would be living the nightmare that was my high school life. Where I didn't belong, where I couldn't find my dreams, where I hid my feelings.
Everything became bright.
I was stood in my parent's house in my old room. I had posters of The Vamps and different dancers on my walls. This was once my escape. Once.
I could hear my parents yelling downstairs, arguing over me. 'Where did they go wrong?', 'Why was I the way I am?'. I remember feeling so sad all the time here. Lying on the floor, crying. Where was I supposed to go? How was I supposed to be strong when I was broken?
I sit up, overwhelmed with the dream I just had. Reliving the past is quite traumatic, but it had inspired me for one of the dances for nationals. Even though it felt like I had only been asleep for a little while, that was not the case. It was morning, I was running late. After showering and getting dressed in my dance clothes I run out the door to see Katelyn's car parked outside. I run over to her car and get in the passenger seat. "Hey I thought I would-"
"I have a dance idea." I interrupt her.
This would be perfect.
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A/N: Okay I'm getting back into updating on time :)
Btw at the start of the story I think Kelly was called Katy but I can't remember lmao I'll go and edit that later hahaha but they're the same person XD
Sorry for not editing this btw oops
~Melody~
YOU ARE READING
Dangerous || Connor Ball
Fanfiction"I've been secretly falling apart..." ----- Violet is a dancer. Violet is a fangirl, it's as simple as that. She obsesses over books and bands, one band in particular. The Vamps. She never expected to meet them though, her luck was never good. But...
