Hiding Myself

Chapter Five

*Song of this chapter - Stay by Rihanna, Mikky Ekko*

Wednesday 18th September 2002: 17:36pm

PAISLEE IVY

I can't handle this anymore.

I've got a heavy migraine and it's becoming unbearable. I walk towards the kitchen cabinets, almost falling as I walk there. I begin routing through the draws, hoping to find anything that could help me.

I find some Painkillers to my right and quickly throw them in my mouth. I don't even want water I'm so desperate. I set them down and begin walking upstairs once again.

By the time I get there, I walk straight ahead of the balcony and look around. It's beautiful here, the sun shines bright over the trees and hits my face, making me want this all the time. The wind has calmed down, but there's still a breeze that hit me and my hair begins to hit against my back.

I try to take in the calmness of a silent world, but it's difficult for me when for the past year, I've had nothing but sounds of my life slowly draining. I remember the exact moment my father started to abuse me. It's still come to mind every now and then.

"What are you doing?!" I hear from in front of me.

I look up and see father with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. I look back down at mothers grave.

"I'm paying my respects. Taking to her" my tears continue to flow down my cheeks, never once stopping.

Father places the flowers down on her grave then aggressively grabs my wrist. The pain is excruciating.

"You don't deserve to give that to her. You're the one who killed her!" He screams at me.

I shake my head, tears continue to appear.

"I didn't, father! I promise. I love Mother!" I yell between my tears back at him.

That's when my life feels like I died as well. My face begins to throb. He punched me. My father punched me.

His other hand continues to attach itself to my wrist. I try to pull away from him but his grip gets tighter and my agony of this feeling grows stronger.

I notice someone watching. They're around twenty ft away but don't do anything except watch. I scream and yell out for them but they walk away, not acknowledging me.

Why would they not help me? Does everyone think I'm a murderer? Maybe I am?

"Are you ok?" I hear from behind me.

I go back to reality and wipe my tears away before turning to face Lexi who's holding three large Walmart bags. I shake my head in disbelief.

"You really didn't have to" I keep my voice low.

She waves it off whilst placing them all on my bed.

"You've got toiletries, clothes, pjs, shoes, and even dresses in case you ever feel like going out with me sometime."

I smile at her kindness. Its weird being almost the same age and she feels like a mother to me.

"Did you by any chance get any medicine?"

She nods whilst finding a small bag in one of the Walmart bags.

"Loads. Thought you might need a few to help with the pain."

I smile and say my thanks. She begins walking towards the door but quickly speaks up.

"You can talk to me if you need to" she whispers with such calmness on her face.