ALL I EVER NEED | PANSY PARKINSON

CHAPTER 11 - REASON

"You'll be okay right?" Lexa asked me for like a hundred times as we descended down the stairs from the Ravenclaw common room.

If it's up to her, she would be carrying me around to every classes I go to because every time I tried to get up or do something like remotely walking, she always have this worried pout on her face that was quite funny yet adorable.

Who would have thought that the cold Valerian was a total softie.

I held her right hand, trying so hard not to limp because I don't want to worry her more. Even though I'm a sucker for her soft side and I want to be with her, she have classes to attend to as well, a life too.

"I'll be fine Lexa, I'll see you at lunch later. I have class at 10:30 to 12 so I most likely just sit. I won't be walking too much." I comforted her, swaying our hands together. To think about it, I'm late for 30 minutes now but I still didn't hurry myself. I just don't want this moment to end soon.

She gave me a deep sigh, relenting. "Fine. I'll be outside your class later though, just to make sure." she still insisted making me chuckle a bit. She's a worrier and it makes my inside churn, butterflies relentlessly zooming inside my stomach.

I just nodded at her, feeling myself being pulled in a warm hug. "Enjoy your class, princess." She whispered on my ear softly, and there it was again, the butterflies in my stomach doing back flip as she kiss my forehead, making my knees buckle.

She pushed me gently on the now opened door of Transfiguration's classroom, sending me a wave and a smile. All I want to do is to be on her arms again, to be with her all day but she have a life too outside of me and I want to respect that. I can't possibly cling to her all day and night because of my needy arse that is a  sucker for her attention.

I waved back to her, sending her my beaming smile while I close the door, feeling all of the attention of the class on me.

Professor McGonagall eyed me for a second with her stern look and shook her head. "Glad you could make it Miss Parkinson. Why, pray tell, may I ask what was so important that you are almost an hour late for class?"

Feeling my face turn red, I didn't even know that it was almost an hour because I was so busy thinking about her. I stammer a good alibi that'll me make exempt from the wrath that is called McGonagall but she cut off my misery with an almost knowing look, "Sit down beside Miss Greengrass and 10 points from Slytherin."

Great. So much for a stroll with Miss Hottie.

Taking a sit next to Daphne, I didn't even have time to let out a breath when her head snapped towards me that I even heard her neck cracking. "Tell me everything." She mouthed

Heaving a deep sigh I responded, "Later."

The class was boring as per usual. I won't admit it to anyone, but Transfiguration is the least of my favorite class. I always prefer charms and potions because I do well on them. Though, I'm not horrible with my every subjects, doesn't mean that I enjoyed it.

With nothing else to do, I just thought back to the days that I've been seeking Lexa for days. To think about it, I was quite desperate. Searching for her in the hallways, in the Great Hall every break times and even at dinner. But she always said she was busy. I know for a fact that she  was not. The school year was barely even starting yet there she was, sticking her nose on a book, not giving me an ounce of her attention.

Walking out from the Slytherin common room with the troops in tow, I was ready for my Saturday adventure that involves searching for Lexa when Daphne got ahold of my arm making me glance at her frowning yet worried face. "Why are you doing this to yourself Pansy? It's like Draco situation over and over again."

I shook my head in response freeing myself from her grasp and was about to retort something when Tracy beat me to it. "We know what you can do when you want something but aren't you just hurting yourself right now?"

I know they are right this time. I'm hurting myself. I told myself that I now know my worth but here I go again. Seeking for someone who don't even spare me a glance.

But I know it will be different this time.

I just know it.

"I'm sorry." I said, slightly docking my head in shame. "I know that I'm being pathetic. I mean I'm Pansy fucking Parkinson for Merlin's sake yet I'm still the one tailing after someone, but I know it'll be different this time because Alexandria is different. I just know it."

With nothing else to say, I walked out from them, feeling myself frustrated like never been before.

Why is everything so complicated when I like someone? Can't it just be like I like you and you like me back also? Simple yet less stressful. Sighing, I turned to my left bumping into someone making me want to scowl at them when I hear Chang's voice apologizing greatly

"I'm sorry honey. I'm not looking where I was going." With her apologetic glance.

I just waved it off gently and was about to ask something when she beat me to it. "You're looking for Lexa again?" she asked with an almost knowing look. "Look Pansy, I get that you want her for yourself, but you're doing it in the wrong way."

With a glint in her eyes, she got ahold of arm and drag me to a nearby window sit. "Sit sit. Why don't you try to corner her on some place that you'll be alone together. Because no matter how much you try to ask her if you could talk, she won't listen to you. I mean she barely even talk to me and I'm her friend and trust me, she'll have no choice but to listen to you on that way."

Nodding to every word she say, I asked with an almost timid voice that was so unlike me. "I don't mean to pry but, what happened to her to be that way? She's so reserved and cold and Salazar, she's so frustrating."

Chang placed her hand in my shoulder sympathetically "She's been through a lot Parkinson. Things that you can't even imagine. I know this isn't my place to tell but if you want to be in her life you have to know. She have this nightmares every night that she can barely even sleep. It's almost repetitive that I can say, it was not just a dream but a memory. Be patient with her. She maybe a smart one but she's so innocent to the point that she don't even know what you want from her. She's so dumb sometimes and don't tell her I said that. " she concluded making me chuckle along with her.

A tap on my shoulder woke me up to my daydream again. "Come on, Pans. It's lunch time." Daphne said eagerly tugging my arm towards the door.

I haven't even finished packing my stuff when a hand that was quite large beat me to it. Glancing up, my eyes met by a soft featured Alexandria, making my heartbeat quickened. "Come on princess, let's get you out of here."

McGonagall, seeing her as well, gave her a sly smile that rivaled Dumbledore when he announced Gryffindor wins the house cup in first year. "Miss Valerian, try not to make Miss Parkinson be late again."

Turning red in embarrassment, I hid my face on the crook of Lexa's neck making her chuckle, "I'll try, Professor." She replied playfully while leading me outside, picking me up again.