The Lies I Believed

Family

"What'd he do this time?" he asked when we were finally alone.

I shook my head.

"If I have to force it out of you, I will. You can't blame anyone else in this situation."

Of course, I can blame anyone I want. I could easily drag a few people into the mix and he wouldn't know if I was lying or not. There's a lot of people who have a problem with more. More than enough of them would gladly go out of their way to ruin what Asher and I have. Therefore, I could blame anyone and he'd have to believe me.

"...I don't know what I saw," I finally admitted. "What if I'm just going crazy like Ian did?"

"You'll never end up like that. Trust me, Lexi."

"I left Asher alone with Jenni, because she wanted to talk to him. I trust him more than I trusted Luca. I want to believe he would never go back to her."

"But?"

"There's no--"

"You don't just leave a sentence incomplete like that." Brad sat back and rolled his eyes. "You caught him with her. Enough said."

"I don't know what I saw..."

"There comes a time when you stop believing everything you see could be a lie."

"I can't help it."

"I get that your past is haunting you every time you see something that could get a public figure in trouble." He scratched his chin. "You can't hesitate when it comes to something like this. What if he thinks you'll never find out about it? He'll get away with doing it a few more times. When you finally catch him...what do you think he'll do?"

"Deny it and make me look like a jealous wife," I muttered. "I swore on my life four years ago that Angela was the one who had me transferred and no one believes me."

"Yeah...because that never happened. I personally checked the footage and she was never there. I know it's hard to believe, but--"

"Brad, I know what I saw! That's why I'm afraid of saying anything now. This'll be the second time I've seen Asher like this..."

Brad sighed and closed his eyes. I know I'm being difficult, but the last thing I need is Brad telling me that I'm crazy. I know he'd never say it to my face, but it's bad enough I know he'd say it. I miss being the sane person I was before the shooting.

"I didn't want to say anything to you." I picked at the frayed hem of my shirt. "You must think I'm dumb for not listening to you. I went after someone who couldn't care less about my feelings."

"Lexi, I'm not--"

"It's okay. I know. I guess I can't have everything I want, right?"

"No."

"...Sure."

"You know that's not what I'm saying," he exclaimed. "You're anything but dumb. You're probably the smartest woman I know. Trust me, we've both done questionable things in the past. Believe me when I say I'd do all those things all over again."

"What..." Now I was confused. This had nothing to do with that. I wanted him to tell me that Asher was as innocent as I thought he was. I didn't want any memories from my past to resurface. Although the thought of my devious actions as a child warmed me, I hated thinking about how gullible I had been.

I got up and left Brad's office without another word. I couldn't sit there and listen to how I'm not delusional. I know what I saw. I know Asher will be trying to get me to think he's only mine. That's not even remotely true.