Twin's Desire

[R18+] Chapter 36 - Recoup

Israel POV

I always knew that pushing someone you love is hard despite claiming that it's for their own good.

The pain that shots through my system everytime I see Hase's sad and dissapointed face always haunts me.

The promises I made being broken over and over again was nothing compared to how Hase breaks everytime I push him away from me.

It's painful. But I gotta stay strong or Hase... he'll be in danger.

When I saw Hase that night... covered in blood and limping towards me with a smile on his face as if he's telling me that the wounds all over his body stopped hurting the moment he saw me...

I couldn't take it anymore...

"You know, Hase is already part of the mafia world long before you came to his life. Protecting him by pushing him away isn't protection at all. If you want to protect Hase, be on his side and spend your life being with Hase." 

That was Vegas told me a week after the incident when he caught me sneaking on Hase's room.

What happened to Hase on university days will forever be my nightmare that renders me sleepless.

I couldn't forget how Hase looked like that day...

I couldn't stop thinking of his eyes looking straight at me, full of relief.

How can he look so relieved when it was me, the reason he was raped?

It was me who told Caleb secretly that my name was Vegas.

It was me who told Vegas to not associate himself with Caleb. I was so scared that maybe Caleb would do something with Vegas since Caleb was being weird whenever Vegas's name was mentioned. I didn't know Caleb would go hurting Hase.

They were friends and I would see them smiling whilst hanging out with each other...

If I told Caleb that I wasn't Vegas back then... Hase wouldn't have experience that nightmare, won't he?

If I wasn't being a moron back then, will it make a difference?

"Pete, this is Samuel, the one I told you. He's my fiancee..." I heard Hase said.

My body immediately moved and my mouth spoke before I could even think.

"I thought you said he's just a suitor?" I asked and I saw how Hase froze when he heard me.

The arm snaked on his waist brought various reactions towards my system that it took me hard concentration to stop my self from trembling out of anger.

The moment Hase announced that he already had accepted Samuel's proposal... That was the moment I decided I'm never letting him go again.

I know it's not right... After all I've done...

But I don't wanna regret everything.

I don't want to see Hase's arm linked on someone else's arm. I couldn't take it. Wouldn't take it.

I tried to calm down and politely asked Samuel if I could just have a moment with Hase.

Hase seemed reluctant but I badly need to clear things up with him so I held him by his arm and dragged him on his room.

"What do you want?" Hase asked as he pulled his hand away from me.

No, please don't do that.

"I-I just want to talk..." I replied not knowing what I should say.

"Okay." Hase said and went inside to sit on his bed.

"What? I thought we're talking. Why are you still there?" Hase half shouted when he noticed that I didn't followed him.