Love Me Harder | Jungkook x Reader | 21+

twenty two

Nara: I'm here in Jeju. Where should we meet?

It's not your phone.

It's Jungkook's.

"I'm sorry, I thought it was my phone." You hand Jungkook his phone back quickly.

He looks at his phone and his eyes widen. You feel him scramble and he begins to panic.

"Y/N, let me explain."

You feel your breath shallow as you try to catch it and your heart beats so fast you swear it's going to come out of your chest.

A wave of regret hits you hard across the face.

You ears are ringing with how hard you heart is beating. You're sad and embarrassed.

Things are beginning to make sense: all of those terrible thoughts were probably true.

You were there to fill the void before Nara got here and the reason why he doesn't want you to like him is because he likes someone else.

You feel the tears stinging your eyes.

It takes you a couple of minutes before you shake out of your trance and you go numb.

"Y/N... Please...listen to me."

"I should have been better at keeping my distance. I'm such an idiot."

You laugh at yourself.

"Please take me back to the house." You finally find the strength to stand up.

"Y/N.. no no... you're not an idiot." he stands up to try and stop you.

"Did you guys hook up?"

He stops to stare at you while you give him another second to answer and he sighs.

"Yes but—"

"When?"

"After I dropped you off after karaoke." Didn't he tell me he was excited to show me around Jeju that night?

"And was that the last time?" You don't even care about how blunt you're being.

"And just before we left for our trip." He hangs his head down.

You're not even mad that he hooked up with her.

You get it, you're not even a couple.

However, if she's here in Jeju, he must still be thinking about her and talking to her even though you thought he liked you now.

That's why you're mad. You feel played when he's been showing you that you're the only one.

"Oh. So I was just here for sex, wasn't I." is all you can manage to say. It wasn't a question.

You feel the lump forming in your throat again.

Flashbacks of your relationship with Jackson fill your head. You feel stupid for letting another player toy with you and your feelings. Thankfully, because of Jackson, you know better and can hopefully handle this situation with Jungkook better.

Jungkook just stands there in front of you.

"No Y/N, you weren't. I can assure you. Please wait."

"For what, Jungkook? You just told me I shouldn't like you. Then you get a text message from Nara. It all makes sense. We're not a couple. I was just here to fill the void before she got here."

Jungkook grabs your hand.

"Please, I'm begging you. I just -- I wanted to figure out this Nara thing before I told you."

"You sound just like Jackson. I can't believe I let myself fall for someone exactly like him."

Jungkook lets your hand go. You can see anger fill his eyes.

"I'm like your cheating ex-boyfriend. You're fucking joking right?"

"Please explain to me how you're any fucking different, Jungkook. You take advantage of kind people because you know they'll do anything to help you. You know how to say the right things and make people feel special. We're all just here to get you what you want right? Whether it be CEO, a girl, all the girls at once, it's all the same game to you, you don't care about who you hurt in the process."

"Is this what think of me, Y/N? Do you think I spend time with just anyone here? Let alone bring them to all the places that are special to me. I've never shown them to anyone before. I showed you places that remind me of my childhood, that remind me of my parents." He pauses to stare at you.

"But you've made up your mind right? I guess you saw right through me. You're right. I truly don't give a fuck about you."

You hear the sarcasm in his voice and you feel the tears stinging your eyes.

"I genuinely started falling for you, Jungkook. You said there was no line. Why did you act like you wanted to be with me?" You try to wipe your tears before they fall down your face but it's too much.

He sighs with frustration.

"Don't keep Nara waiting. You can show her these places now that since she's here."

You don't want to be around him anymore.

"I didn't tell her to come here, Y/N! What happened with her was a mistake. I told her it was a mistake and that I was falling for someone else and she's been messaging me ever since."

His confession stops you from saying anything more. You don't know how to feel while Jungkook stands there desperately trying to stop you. You just stare at him with tears coming down your face.

He comes up to you and cups your face and tries to wipe your tears.

You step back from his touch. "Please, don't."

Jungkook stands in front of you defeated. You can see the pained expression in his face. His eyes on the verge of tears too.

What do I do? Should I believe him?

"The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, Y/N. I just... I was afraid. I like you, Y/N. I feel myself falling for you, every single day and it's the scariest thing. I don't want to lose you."

You feel your heart hurt more. How can he think this confession would make me feel better?

"So this was your solution?"

"I know, it's fucked up. I was afraid of these feelings. I don't let anyone in like this. It's new to me. It scared me to know that I was falling for you. I self-sabotage myself from thinking I deserve anything nice and good other than work."

You sigh but you're still hesitant and you need time to think about what is going on. Although he just told you he liked you it makes you question what would happen if he continues to be scared about all the feelings.

"Please take me back to the house. I know we still have another few days here but I need time alone."

He's still desperate to make you understand but you're not there to listen anymore and you both know it.