My Sin

Decisions

The empress was so shocked that he even lost his composure. Since his last life, the emperor was always nonchalant about his children, no, he seemed to be nonchalant about all his children except for the one birthed by Noble Lady Shu. It was later on in life when the prince was about ten that the emperor seemed to start caring for them. He began teaching them, and only the best of the best would be given to his kids. He, at some point, treated them better than his son with Noble Lady Shu. That's why he started using the kids as a tool to see the emperor.

The children, especially Hu'er didn't show any signs of forgiving their father, but the dependence he and both the kids had on his father betrayed him. And even though he killed his father as a form of revenge for him in his past life it was also psychologically torturing to him. Plus it seemed that things weren't as simple as he thought.

He had the same dream about his past life in the timeline where he was already gone. But things were vastly different. Instead of the proud and aloof Hu'er, he saw carrying his father's head to hand at the palace gates, he saw a broken and withering Hu'er crying at his father's and mother's grave. Then the scene changed to when Hu'er was executing his father. Hu'er had a sword pointed to his father's neck with tears in his eyes, while the emperor had a peaceful and warm smile on his face as he brought the sword closer to his neck. The emperor looked at Hu'er his eyes filled with nothing but unconditional love. His dry and cracked lips parted to say something, but before he could even say it, Liu Quiaqio felt a head-splitting pain and jumped up from the bed.

He felt weird, he felt as if there was something that he didn't know. And now seeing that the emperor was getting interested in the kids before Hu'er was ten he felt like this was somehow connected to the dream. The fact that Noble Lady Shu also was not as favored as in the past also made him think twice. There was definitely something more to the dream that he didn't know. And because of that every change that happens in this life scares him, and to let Hu'er close to his father was something that he thought a lot about, but looking back at that dream he seemed to realize that he could never replace the role of a father in the kids' hearts, and the decision of whether they get to like or get along with their father up to them so he agreed with the emperor's request. He might not be involved romantically with the emperor but he could co-parent with him to make his kids happy.

So the whole afternoon the empress talked to the emperor about his past pregnancies, the kids' likes, and dislikes, their favorite things, their growth, and their funny moments. Every time the empress described something about their children, the emperor came to regret his decision not to take part in the children's life. The empress looked so happy and satisfied, and the emperor could really see that he had moved on. He felt heartbroken, but at the same time, he couldn't blame the empress. After all, he had done some shitty stuff to the empress.

So just like that the two walked side by side in the garden talking about the children. When the sun started setting the empress made his way to his palace. In the afternoon news came about the emperor spending the night at Hereditary Consort Xuilan's place. 

Surprisingly this time he was not hurt by such news. Even though he made up his mind to not love the emperor in this life, he was still hurt every time he heard the emperor spending the night at a concubine's place. But today all he felt was apathy, he was happy that there was more improvement in his healing.

"Li Dani, where are the kids?" The empress wanted to talk to the kids about their father.

"They are just heading here right now, do you want to see them?" Li Dani asked.

"Yes I want to talk to them, can you dismiss the other maids please?" The empress didn't want the kids to feel uncomfortable while speaking so he decided to dismiss the maids, and Li Dani was a very trusted maid and his best friend so he didn't mind. Li Dani seemed to sense what the empress wanted and tacitly dismissed the other maids.