My Sin

Dreams

The days went by fast; soon it was June, and the middle of the summer officially started, meaning that the emperor's birthday was approaching. Because of the emperor getting beat and apologizing to everyone the relationship between him and his family had become much better. And because of this the emperor seemed to be in a better mental state, and this greatly benefitted the people, as the empire was actually fairing better.

Buy it also seemed that the emperor became weirder, as he suddenly decreed that in order to promote frugality he would not be taking in another concubine for the next fifteen years, but because the nobles opposed it so much he had to lower the date to the next five years. The people had seen this as a bad move as the emperor had to have at least five male heirs. Kai Tifeng had been an exception to this as he was busy repairing the empire which was in chaos at the time.

But the Empire had just defeated their biggest threat and was currently at peace so the emperor should be focusing on making more heirs. It was the duty of the emperor to do so. The emperor knew that he couldn't escape this, hence he did visit his concubines but surprisingly there was still no news.

Of course, all of this was planned by the emperor. Since he knew that his concubines would not be willing to take contraceptives he took them himself before visiting them. He had been having some crazy dreams lately and he wanted to investigate if what he was dreaming of were true.

Lately, he'd been having these dreams about a person whom he loved very much, so much that every time he would wake up from the cruel and sad dreams that he would in tears. Every time he woke up from the dreams he would feel immense regret, but he didn't know why. He felt as if he betrayed someone he loved very much and hurt them, he felt as if he abandoned someone he was supposed to treasure, but every time he tried to get a better look at the face of the figure in his dreams he would suddenly be engulfed in darkness and felt suffocated. It was as if a barrier tortured him by making him look and really see or touch. But one figure he always saw was that of Noble Lady Shu. Why was she in his dreams? He never saw her or visited her if it wasn't for his son, so why would she appear in his dreams?

If the empress knew what the emperor was thinking about he would be shocked, as the same thing had been happening to him. He was dreaming about his past life with the emperor, but now he was seeing things differently. Now he was seeing things and feeling things that he never had the time to see and feel in his past life. And the more he saw the more afraid he was. Was there more to meet the eye in their story? 

He had always felt that the emperor had a suspicious change of mindset when he married him. Because as a child the emperor he knew was nice and kind. The Emperor and he had met when they were children and the emperor was the one that was smitten with him and he was actually disgusted with the emperor at first. But as they got along he eventually started liking the emperor but at the age of sixteen the emperor started behaving abnormally and at age seventeen the teenage emperor started hating him. He decided to still marry the emperor as at some point he hated the emperor but the emperor still chased after him.

Over time instead of giving up he became obsessed with the idea of the emperor loving him and endured all the humiliation he received. Every time he felt like giving up he remembered how the emperor had loved him previously and along the way he lost himself in his love for the emperor and just became obsessed. In the end, he always felt suspicious about why the emperor hated him. When he asked the emperor about his hatred towards him in his past life, the emperor himself looked baffled.

One other thing that was suspicious was how Noble Lady Shu came to meet the emperor. Even though the emperor had concubines how he took in Noble Lady Shu was very weird. From their interactions when Noble Lady Shu first came into the palace, it was as if the emperor already knew her, and met her. This, of course, was not weird but what was weird was the emperor's obsession and Noble Lady Shu's self-entitled attitude. It is as if the emperor should love her and no one else. 

Over time he convinced himself that it was love and that he should just stay quiet. But now all of these clues along with his dreams are now pointing in a different direction, which scared him. What if it wasn't the emperor's fault, did this mean he had to forgive him? Did he hate the wrong person? And what was the actual cause of all of this? And who was the man who loved him so much in his long, sad dreams?