COMPLETED - A First Everything - Malec

What Do You Care?

A/N TW: There are mentions of self-harm (over-training), so please be careful when reading.

It had been a month since their argument, since Magnus wouldn't let Alec justify why he'd done such a horrendous thing. Though nothing could justify snooping around your boyfriend's back and finding out secrets, could it?

Alec was broken since then, and he really didn't know what to do. He'd called, but everything had gone to voicemail, and after a while Alec had given up and ended his last voicemail with: I'm sorry, Magnus. It doesn't cut it. But I truly am sorry. It... I... I was an idiot and I had no rights to be discovering things that you wanted to stay hidden. I suppose I just felt unimportant... Not knowing anything about you... I'm sorry. For everything. I won't disturb you again.

And then he'd sobbed, trained harder, got drunk twice and volunteered for every Patrol and mission to keep his mind away from Magnus. It was fruitless. It was one of those night, when Alec just couldn't sleep, and he heard a knock.

"Alec?" Jace.

"What?"

"Can I come in?" Jace's voice was soft.

"Sure."

Jace came in and Alec sat up, Jace sitting on the bed next to him. "You okay?"

"As good as I'll be," Alec muttered.

"I'm sorry," was all Jace said. Both him, Izzy, Clary and her friend Simon knew what happened and also what Alec had done and why he had.

"Nothing for you to say sorry for," Alec mumbled, "I was the idiot."

"I'm not saying what you did was right," Jace started, "But Magnus should've allowed you to explain, and he definitely should talk to you about at least some aspects of his past. I'm not saying this to make my best friend's ex seem undeserving or anything. I'm just saying that you aren't to blame for everything, okay?"

"Thanks, Jace," Alec said, "I'll be okay."

"Do - do you need anything else?" Jace asked.

Alec shook his head, fighting back tears triggered by the conversation. 

"You can tell me," Jace encouraged, "I'm your parabatai. I won't judge. You know that. Or at least I hope you do."

"I do," Alec croaked out. They both stayed silent for a while, and Alec finally allowed himself to ask for something. A very simple something. "Can I have a hug?"

"Alec, you never have to ask," Jace sighed and hugged his brother, wishing on every star in the universe that Alec found his way back. He knew how much Alec loved Magnus, and he knew that Magnus at least cared for Alec. He was going to talk to Magnus. He'd assissted in Izzy in giving numerous calls to Magnus, but Magnus wasn't responding. He was going to talk to the warlock, because both Magnus and Alec deserved better.

***

The next evening, Jace snuck away without telling anyone, knowing Alec definitely wouldn't want Jace to visit Magnus and knowing Izzy would want to come along. Whilst that may not be a bad thing, Izzy would get too angry, too quickly. Especially as the matter revolved around her brother. Jace knocked.

"WHO DARES DISTU-"

"It's Jace," the Shadowhunter cut him off. There was silence.

"You could do me the incredible honour of going away," Magnus said through the intercom.

"Was expecting a better welcome," Jace sighed, "But I'm not going away until I can talk to you."

"Unless someone's dying, please show yourself out."

"No one's dying."

"So this is about Alec," Magnus guessed.

"If I say 'yes', what's the chance you'll burn me using magical rays?"

"Quite high," Magnus said, "Look, I don't want to talk to him. Or to you. Or to any Nephilim."

"Forever?"

"For now. At least."

"Why don't you let him do the talking then?" Jace bit back, "And just listen?"

"Trace, what do you care?" Magnus snapped, "It's our relationship."

"What do I care?" Jace said, outraged, "He's my brother and parabatai. He's... You don't know how sorry he is. And you know what? If you loved him half as much as he loves you, you'd give him the chance to explain, at least. He deserves that."

There was an uncomfortable, raging silence. "Please let me in. I look like an idiot yelling into an intercom." Jace said.

The door opened and Jace entered. Magnus was sprawled on the sofa, not wearing much make-up, a beer in hand, and a pizza box on the table.

"You're no better, are you?" Jace questioned, seating himself.

"I don't recall inviting you to sit down," Magnus ignored the question, "Are you expecting tea and cakes? If so, you're walking into disappointment."

"All I'm expecting is for you to look at yourself and see that you're just as heart-broken as he is, and that you'd give him a single bloody chance!" Jace swore.

"Do you even know what he did?" Magnus snapped, sitting up.

"Do you know why he did it?" Jace said back, "Have you even allowed yourself to think that you did something to make him go to a disgusting vampire to know a bit more about you? Or do you think of yourself too highly to even consider the fact you could've been slightly wrong in how you treated him?"

"Treated him?!" Magnus screeched, "I gave him everything I could. The best dates, the most Alec-y presents I could think of, made him breakfast because he didn't want me magicking everything up. I gave him so much! And he gave me so much as well. And then he goes and gets himself bitten and spies on my secrets. And I treated him wrong?"

"Magnus, if I may-"

"You may not."

"Right," Jace said curtly, "Have you ever given him any pieces of you? I don't know about others, but he's Alec, Magnus. He doesn't care about anything except the people he loves. You could give him a whole bloody palace and he wouldn't care as much as if you gave him a hug."

And then Jace's parabatai rune hurt. Hurt so much, and Jace cursed. He clenched at his rune, knowing Alec had trained too much again, and fought to surpress a scream.

"Isn't that... where your parabatai rune is?" Magnus said hesitantly.

Jace nodded, doubling over in pain. He then shakily stood up, the pain edging away just a bit.

"Is he okay?" Magnus asked, "What happened to him?"

Jace looked him in the eye, golden eyes furious and he snapped, "What do you care?"

And with that, he strode away, out of the loft, wincing in pain as he made his way towards the Institute, back to his brother.

Magnus sank back to the sofa, head in his hands, recollecting words from Alec's last voicemail: I suppose I just felt unimportant. Not an accusation. Just accepting that he'd done something wrong. 

And Jace's words: Have you ever given him any pieces of you?

A/N What do you think? This scene featured in the books as well and I loved it, so I wanted a bit of it in here. Please leave a comment or a vote if you enjoyed!

Love, IC ❤️