Fall to Rise

Twenty Eight

Thinking about it over the night, this wasn't a good idea. Moving on to Zed wouldn't be the right thing to do especially since I didn't feel anything for him and also during the times when his father is sick.

It wouldn't bring a good image.

And I wasn't ready to hurt Frayer once more.

Caleb as well.

Its like am happy when they are in sorrow nursing Kaffo except for me.

But even in this corrupt heart I still had hope for Caleb turning back tables. I just needed to give him his space for a while.

But why was this so hard.

Why couldn't he see this and just stop treating me like am nothing.

Recognize me.

Why was love this hard. I began sobbing. My heart started aching.

How I missed him so much now that we lived here in this big house, we always had to be careful of prying eyes.

Oh my but why.

Anyway Zed was right, Caleb wasn't into me. I had to live with it, the hard truth.

"Ama your crying?" I hadn't noticed I had left my door open and Frayer stood by the door watching me sob.

Drowning in tears.

Talking to myself.

"Does it pain you that much girl?" She asked. Ofcourse she heard it all.

"Yes," I sobbed now even more. " I just don't know what to do. My heart breaks so much whenever I think of him," I cried and she sat on the bed rocking me.

"Do you think he knows?" She asked.

"I don't know but he better not. Caleb wants nothing to do with me especially after what you and Zed saw earlier today."

"No no, you don't deserve this kind of pain Ama, I can even see your barely eating. Your not yourself dear."

"I dont know," I sniffed, letting out all the pain and hurt I'd kept inside. I cried my eyeballs out till I couldn't anymore.

But am happy Frayer was there to hear it all. The sweet and cursing words. She just listened while I cried.

I found myself telling her about Zed's proposal too.

"Faye,,"

"Yes dear talk to me," she responded.

"I wanna run away. I cant live here anymore."

"What!!!," I think she hadn't at first noticed how bad this situation was except for now.

"I can not bare seeing him wed Layla or be happy with someone else," I said thinking about it.

"No no Amandi Gwandi. This is extreme, you can't leave me alone. Your my besfriend now and I can't loose you, you know that."

"I know. But am sore inside. Am hurting."

"I think you need to talk to Caleb and then after make that decision. Because you may not be sure of what he feels, don't rush making such a big decision."

"Okay then."

"Make your feelings known to him," she said.

That night Frayer slept in my room.

She told me a bedtime story to lure my thoughts away.

Then rocked me to sleep.

She was the best friend I never had with exception of Lucha.

I was grateful for that.