𝐍𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐔𝐓, 𝐍𝐎 𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐄 || yandere x f. reader ||

VII. ʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟɪᴢᴇ

rationalize 

( .˳⁺⁎˚ ꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ ˚⁎⁺˳ . )

Killain's POV: 

I walked past the classroom Y/N was in, my eyes scanning the room and the students inside before landing on her. She was reading, her eyes grazing over the pages with a lacking of enthusiasm. I smiled at her, even as she was no longer in eye-sight. I made my way from detention to her locker, holding another note. 

I was beyond excited I finally talked to her. To hear her sweet voice being directed toward me and not her unworthy friends or some random stranger. I still felt the need for the notes, even more so now as we were official friends, well I thought so at least. I wouldn't wish to accidentally say or do anything that may threaten our friendship, especially due to my 'impulsive tendencies.' 

Once I neared her locker, I looked around, waiting for a few students in our grade to pass by before I unlocked the small compartment. It wasn't hard to find out her locker code. When I entered her dorm for the first time I found a lot about her, and that was included. It's what initially inspired me to start actually sending her what I wrote down, although I had to filter a lot of my feelings out. 

I think she'd be a bit scared if I shared my true thoughts with her,  how I wanted to chain her to my bed and keep her to myself, and myself only, or how I wanted to give her gifts, little trinkets of her old friend's after I cut up their bodies. 

A smile crept on my face at the thought as I quickly flung open her locker. However my smile faltered slightly at the sight of another note laying still in her locker. 

"Does she have another secret admirer?" I thought. A bitter feeling swam inside of me as I grabbed the note and read through it hastily. But the bitter feeling soon left, and was replaced with a different one, with a similar feeling. 

Dear my 'secret admirer',

I don't know why you're doing this. Whatever I've done to you I'm sorry, just please, please don't tell anyone about Westbrook. This school can't know. I'll do whatever you want, I just beg of you to not tell anyone. 

From
Y/N

A deep laugh left my mouth, and I used my hand to cover it. I laughed for a while, not bothering how I looked to the people around me. I couldn't believe that she was so naïve and stupid that she thought this was all some stupid revenge plot. 

I shoved the note in my locker and didn't replace it with my own, deciding to wait for a different response later. As I walked toward my dorm I couldn't help but giggle to myself again. Apart of me was glad that she decided to take enough interest in me to write me my very own letter, but I was also sad that she'd so deeply misinterpreted my letters. 

Sure I threatened to expose her a few times, but what about all my other letters expression my deep love and appreciation for her? What did she think those were? She couldn't really believe that I learnt so much about her just for revenge, she can't be that idiotic. 

She probably just didn't want to accept the fact that was held genuine love and affection for her without an ulterior movie, I knew she wasn't used to it. 

I entered my dull dorm, stacked head-to-toe with books. I opened my closet and traced my finger over a certain draw. I opened it and added the letter to my other collection of things from Y/N. Nothing over creepy, only hair ties, jewellery and small drawings I found in her dorm, and a few pictures. 

I turned to my desk, taking out a piece of paper and a black pen. 

I hoped you'd understand after this.