Project 137.43.M.D.

V. | NE BIS IN IDEM

V.
NE BIS IN IDEM
(not twice about the same)

"Please don't get me wrong, Hermione, I'm really proud of you. I'm sure Malfoy didn't notice your insecurity at all. And I suppose it's really hard for you to keep your composure when it comes to him, but if you ask me, you could have been, um, a tad more empathetic?"

Her hands clutched her pint of Butterbeer as she listened to Harry's cautious words. She had asked him to give his impression of her first conversation with Malfoy — and that was what she got, even if it wasn't exactly what she had hoped to hear. Hermione actually appreciated the fact that she could always rely on the hard-hitting and honest opinions of her friends, but tonight it was a bitter pill to swallow.

Besides Harry, Ron had turned up at the small pub they had chosen for their after-work drinks. He didn't work for the Ministry, but had followed in Bill's footsteps as a Curse-Breaker for Gringotts. On behalf of the wizarding bank, he was constantly travelling all over the country and even abroad, so Hermione didn't get to see him as often as she did Harry. It was always a stroke of luck to meet him during one of his regular but brief courtesy visits to London.

But today was such a lucky day. Ron was enjoying the freedom and independence that came with his job to the fullest, but when he had heard what project his friends had been assigned to, he had headed home immediately. Now he was sitting at the small table, tensely looking back and forth between the two of them.

Apparently realising that his words had hurt her, Harry placed a hand on Hermione's forearm and gave her an apologetic look. The lump that formed in her throat as a result annoyed her even more. How unprofessional.

Whereas a few hours ago she had been so proud to have survived her first encounter with Malfoy without letting him get the better of her, she now had to admit to herself that Harry was right. Never before had she spoken so patronisingly to a person she was supposed to be looking after, whether she liked them or not. So hell yes, she could have been more empathetic. Should have been. Especially towards him. After all, it was a very special project and that inevitably required a very special way of dealing with the ex-offender.

But the fact that it was Malfoy, of all people, made it difficult for her — even more so than she had expected. With his very first words, he had managed to provoke her so much that she had begrudged him being gently introduced to his false memories. So she had simply dumped the shambles of his supposed life at his feet. Ta-da, look what a loser you are. That none of it had really happened didn't matter, after all, the truth was even worse.

Ron, who had also noticed how troubled she was, settled for patting her shoulder. After Harry and Hermione had told him what Project 137.43.M.D. looked like and that Hermione would be dealing with Malfoy on a daily basis for the next few months, he had remained surprisingly silent. Unlike Harry, he hadn't commented on Hermione's first conversation with Malfoy. He probably just felt sorry for her.

Gods, she even felt sorry for herself.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry said fittingly, sounding rather contrite.

She shook her head quickly.

"Don't be," she said, fighting back the tears that were already stinging the corners of her eyes. "You're right — I was unfair. Malfoy doesn't know what really happened, so he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. The whole situation shouldn't have irritated me in the first place. I'll do better next time."

Hermione nodded as if in self-affirmation. She had survived, had grown up, had finally recovered. And these days, she was in fucking charge. She wouldn't allow Malfoy to reopen the wounds she had worked so hard to heal; to set her back years with a few smug looks and stupid comments. Back to the day when he had indifferently watched his aunt carve his favourite swear word into Hermione's forearm.