Santana's POV
The hour was exactly 6 pm when I stepped out of the car in the half full parking lot outside of the treatment centre in the other side of New York City. It was finally Friday, which means I could finally take Dani home.
I went in and quickly found her. She was waiting for me nervously in the waiting area with some of her bags. Her look lighted up when she saw me for a second, but her miserable self took over and that spark soon faded away.
She stood up and ran toward me while I did the same. I craver her touch for so long, I just needed her in my arms and now it's finally happening. She ran into my embrace and I quickly wrapped my arms strongly around her.
"Hi," I said smiling into her hair that was in the height of my mouth, pinned to my body when she hugged me tightly, clinging on my shirt for dear life. "Shh..." I caressed her back when I realized she was crying, but her cry only went louder and heavier and she ended up sobbing into my chest.
I didn't know if she was crying because she was happy to see me, or because she was sad, or because she has been suffering, or because she missed me, or because every single thing that ever happened in her life. But anyway, she had every right in the world to cry.
I helped her to put her bags into the car and after saying goodbye and listening to the nurses' instruction for the weekend with Dani we went to the car and drove off.
The almost hour and a half drive went by complete silence. Not even the radio using as a comforting sound in the background. It was so silent you could hear basically everything. I did tried to talk to her, to ask her stuff, but she decided to remain silent and honestly I can't blame her for that...
We got back home around 8 pm, just in time for dinner. We picked Dylan up from Elena and John's since I left him at theirs before I went to pick up Dani. We don't really want him traveling hours in a car around the city when he is not even four months old.
We got home and I left Dani to rest a little bit. I decided to leave her alone and give her time for herself she obviously needed. She went to our bed and took Dylan with her while I prepared the table for dinner.
I'm so happy to have her back, but seeing her like that is killing me. What the hell are they doing to her in there?! Where is my happy smiling full of joy wife? What happened to that girl? I haven't even heard her voice yet since I saw her today, except her loud sobs that broke my heart.
"Babe," I knocked on the half open door of hour bedroom. She was awake, lying on her side with her back facing me, she had Dylan in her arms. "Dinner is ready, come," I tried to sound as calm and soft as I can.
She gave me a little nod before standing up and placing our sleeping Son in her arms. I offered to take him to bed but she refused so she went while I waited for her in the kitchen.
She came back moments later and sat down in front of me by the table. She looked down at her full plate and I studied her closely. She started to panic, I could tell. Her breathes became faster and unsteady and her knee was bouncing uncontrollably under the table.
What the hell was I thinking?! I'm so fucking stupid! What the hell crossed my mind when I cooked this 'romantic dinner'?! I'm so damn stupid. I just didn't know where to bury myself alive at the moment.
First thing I'm doing for my wife who comes home after staying at a treatment center for her eating disorder is cooking dinner. Great.
While I was busy mentally slapping myself she was getting more nervous with every second that passed, she was about to cry.
"Dani I'm sorry." I immediately apologized, not knowing exactly for what. For being this stupid? I mean, she still needs to eat. For making her feel like that? For cooking her such dinner?
She looked at me and that's when she realized I've been watching her. Two shades of red appeared on her cheeks when tears stated to leave her eyes. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down but it didn't really work.
Did I make this? Did I make her feel this bad?
I didn't know what to do. Sure I've already seen Dani in situations like these before but I was scared. Without waiting another second I jumped out of my seat an went to her side, bending down so I will be in her height. "Babe look at me," I demanded placing two fingers on her left jaw line, slowly and gently rotating her face to look at me. "I'm sorry," I said when I was sure I won her attention. "I'm sorry I don't know what was I thinking." I continued when tears started to leave my eyes too.
"You don't have to finish that plate." I said. "It will be alright, I'm here to help you." I said, taking her hand in my left hand and taking her knife in my right. I parted the meal into half and pushed one half to the side of the plate. "Here," I said placing the knife back. She looked at her plate and then at me, still terrified.
"You can do this," I reassured her giving her hand a small squeeze. "Finish that for me," I practically begged taking my chair and pulling it next to her seat, siting next to her.
She shook her head to my words, more tears leaving her eyes. I never really realized how bad her eating disorder got back, I've never seen it this active. It completely broke my heart.
"Please, baby." I asked. "Here," I said again trying to part the small half into another two halfs. "Tried this. For me, please."
She shook her head again when her cry became audible and small yelps of panic left her mouth. She buried her face in my neck. "Dani please." I begged, "Please, for me beautiful." She didn't respond, she kept on crying to my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and patted soothing circles on her back. "You need to eat beautiful," I sighed kissing the top of her head.
After about 20 minutes like that, she finally managed to pick up her fork. After four forkfuls she was done. I tried to make her eat more but it looked like she was about to throw up any minute, so I let her finish here for now.
I made her stay seated by my side in the kitchen for another half an hour like the nurse instructed me, so she won't be able to purge or to do something else stupid. Meanwhile I tried to make her eat more but she complained about her stomach aching and the nausea she got.
After another 20 minutes I cleaned the table while I kept an eye on her and then we went to bed. I thought she won't let me get close to her but surprisingly she was the one seeking for my touch. She pinned our bodies together and wanted me to hold her like we used to, so I did.
I wrapped my two arms around her while our bodies were pinned to each other, her face buried in my chest.
I never realized how bad her eating disorder was till today, and now I feel it too. My arms closed too easily around her body. She had lost too much weight...
I made sure she was indeed asleep to look at her and examine her. I separate our bodies for a second and crawled back to look at her. She was wearing one of her big T's that were always big to her small figure, but now ahe was literally drowning in them.
I felt a choke in my throat when I sniffed my tears in. I got back closer to Dani and took her in my arms like I did a few moments ago.
She will get this through, we will get this through. I know she can, she's the strongest...
I just hope it's strong enough.
