Touch Starved

Chapter 7 - Confessions

Author's Note: So, this fic focuses primarily on Vaderkin and Obi-Wan. As such, other characters, such as Ahsoka and Padme, will be around, but they won't play a major role. :)

Also, the Sith Lord part of Vader makes a reappearance! ;)

WARNING: Depression (major depression), suicidal tendencies, slight (or more than slight) possessiveness.

~ Amina Gila

Vader feels... calm. It's strange, especially for a Sith. He hasn't felt this calm in years. It's a type of calm that only ever came to him when he was with Obi-Wan. He knew the moment of comfort would come to an end, and he was ready for it, but he thought it would still hurt. It doesn't. For the first time in years, he's able to move on. Obi-Wan won't grow distant or pull away from him, and if he does – if he does, then Vader will simply take him and run. He'll imprison them both on some remote planet and – and he'll...

(He'll aggressively cuddle with Obi-Wan until he stops acting like he doesn't care.)

He firmly pushes the thought from mind a moment later. Entertaining it is stupid. He feels incredibly light and giddy right now, maybe because he's gone from being touch starved to being drunk on the feeling of touching another person, especially when that person was Obi-Wan. They don't – they don't snuggle. They just don't. In the past, he'd hugged him from time to time, but it was never like this. Vader wants it to stay like this. He doesn't know how he'll survive without being in almost constant contact with another person, whether that person is Obi-Wan or someone else.

They might not be hugging any longer, but he's still pressed against Obi-Wan's side, and Obi-Wan is holding his hand in a comforting manner, silently assuring him that he's still there. It's nice. It's thoughtful. It's definitely more than anything he ever thought he could get from his once master in the past. He vacillated from thinking that Obi-Wan didn't care at all to thinking that his affection was merely a distant, fleeting thing.

And all of that was, in part, because of Palpatine. Because of Sidious. Because he tried to turn them against each other, tried to pull Ana- Vader away from the one person who was the center of his universe. Somehow, Sidious had known about the strength of their bond. He foresaw it, and he tried to undermine it. Or was it simply that Vader himself was oblivious? He was so wrapped up in Padme and in thoughts of losing her that he'd hardly given thought to Obi-Wan. And he feels guilt for that. Obi-Wan raised him, trained him, taught him. Vader never forgot about his mother, so how could he have forgotten about his father?

Vader glances sideways at Obi-Wan again, and their eyes meet. The glow of affection in his once master's eyes is unmistakable. And then, suddenly, Obi-Wan's breathing hitches. He reaches towards Vader with his other hand, cupping his cheek and staring into his eyes. "What?" Vader asks, confused.

"Your eyes," Obi-Wan whispers, sounding awed and pained at once. "There's blue in them."

Huh?

Oh. Um... yes, that probably makes sense.

The Dark Side feels distant right now, no more than an echo. He can embrace it if he reaches out, and he will eventually, but right now, he's too content to enjoy the moment as it is. Obi-Wan lightly skims his thumb back and forth over Vader's cheekbone, under his eye, seeming almost transfixed.

"I know that you're still Anakin, at least in part, but it's different to actually see it," Obi-Wan explains.

Vader leans into the touch, nuzzling his once master's palm and holding his gaze, noting the way that his blue-gray eyes seem brighter, less haunted. He didn't even notice the way Obi-Wan seemed haunted until right now, until he can see how a weight seems to have lifted from him. And when he gives Vader a smile, it's so much like the looks of approval and affection which he's craved in the past that he can't breathe.