11:11 \\ mgc [completed]

14:00

[artist recommendation: of mice and men]

I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was sunny outside. It was everything I didn't feel.

I pinched myself, just to feel something. It went by unnoticed. I dragged my feet on the ground, walking towards my closet. I pulled out a white shirt and a pair of shorts because it was hot outside. My heart felt cold.

I tamed my hair, and then walked out of the house. I yelled goodbye, but no one replied. There was no one to reply.

I walked towards an ice cream parlour, not because I wanted ice cream. I was lactose intolerant, but I wanted to see if you were there. I wanted to hang on to the little memory I had of you.

As I had predicted, you were there. But you weren't smiling, you weren't laughing. Your face held the same torn expression mine did. So if it broke you as much as it broke me, why did you leave?

I wanted to approach you, but would it help? I wanted to understand, to comprehend just what I had done. Wasn't I at least worthy of that?

I wanted to cry because I missed you. It  had been just two hours, yet I missed you like I hadn't missed anybody. What had you done to me?

I decided where I had to go, and it held yet another memory of you. Several, in fact. Hailing down a cab, I asked him to take me to the forest.

"It's dangerous out there, ma'am. You might get hurt," He said.

"I know," I said, but the only dangerous thing out there was me. I was scared I'd hurt myself. The driver looked at me weird, probably because I was on the verge of tears.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" He asked.

"No," I replied, "please take me to the forest." He obeyed, mainly because no guy wanted to deal with an angry or miserable girl on their back. I hoped and prayed you didn't leave me because of that.

When the cab got there, I paid the driver, thanked him, and walked towards the clearing where I remember resting my head in your lap as you sung me songs. The melody lit up my heart, the same heart that was as hollow as a saxophone.

I walked towards a trees and collapsed against it, bringing my legs up to my chest and circling my arms around my knees. Closing my eyes, I remembered you smiling down at me, gently wounding a white lily in my rubber band. I remembered the flower crowns you made me. I remember you treating me like a princess when I didn't deserve to be one.

Why couldn't I forget you?