11:11 \\ mgc [completed]

07:00

[close your eyes, relieve yourself]

My best friend visited. She brought two sandwiches which she claimed she had made but I knew she had bought.

The bread was dry, the cheese liquidy, but I didn't mind. We sat side by side, our shoulders brushing, our breaths matching. It was strange, because we were so close, yet so far away.

Neither of us spoke, because we didn't know what to say. I knew her enough to understand that she wanted to apologise but couldn't find the right words to do so. It didn't matter, because I didn't care about empty words of sympathy and bleak 'sorry's. I couldn't eat the sandwich. She ate it for me. I knew she acted like she was a healthy eater but I knew that when she got home, she'd stick her fingers down her throat and vomit all that she had eaten.

I wish I could help her.

You pretended to be asleep, but I knew you weren't. When my best friend had made sure that I wouldn't cry again, she wrapped me in a hug. It wasn't warm, wasn't a hug that best friends would usually share. It was like hugging a stranger; awkward and short-termed. Nonetheless, I was grateful.

When she left, I felt lonely again. I walked back and forth, did breathing exercises. I hoped I didn't have a panic attack.

By the time the sun had fully settled itself in the sky, I felt sleep crawling onto me. I ignored it.

The officer told me that someone had bailed you out, that there was no proof that it was you who murdered the mayor's son either, so they would let you out in an hour.

I smiled at him.

He didn't smile back.