11:11 \\ mgc [completed]

09:00

["what are you waiting for?" - love me like you do, ellie goulding]

I hated breakfast.

You made me have breakfast.

Since there was no food in my house, I sat down on the couch cross legged and watched the sky from the window, the endless firmament scattered with low hanging clouds and free birds.

I wish I could be one of those birds.

I wish I could just take a deep breath, spread my wings, and soar above the ground. There was nothing that troubled birds, nothing that held them down except for one thing: their loved ones.

Once a bird had a baby, maybe an injured partner, they wouldn't fly across the ocean. They would stay near said person, constantly worry for them, bring them food. When their child or partner got hurt, the bird would feel the hurt too.

And in many ways, I was the bird and you were my partner. I couldn't let go, because I thought you needed me, thought you wanted me. I couldn't fly, because you wouldn't let me; afraid that I'd get hurt.

But in many other ways; you were the bird and i the partner. You didn't leave me, you fed me, kept me alive. And after you thought that I could handle myself, you left. You flew.

Maybe that's who you were; a bird, an angel, sent to keep me alive. Maybe your job was done, maybe you thought I was stable enough.

I wasn't. You were my lifeline, and when you were gone, all I wanted was to fly.