Charlie and Nick Fanfic - PG13 Version

Upset : Part Two

With his heart racing, Nick called into the darkness again. "Charlie?"

"Nick?" Charlie called from the balcony.

Nick rushed to him and wept with relief to see that Charlie was unharmed, leisurely sitting next to Nick's garden and watching the sparse stars in the sky. Charlie looked at him with innocent curiosity, his eyes dry when Nick's were overflowing.

He joined Charlie, linking their fingers together, palm to palm.

Charlie met his gaze with a gentle smile and leaned his forehead against Nick's.

"David's lying," Nick told him, tears snaking down his cheeks. "I swear, Char. Those pictures...it really isn't what it looks like. It's like he's trying to ruin my life. Our life. He tricked me into going to a bar, and then these girls showed up, and I just wanted to fuckin' lay him out. He wants me to be sleazy like him. He's a cheater, but I'm not. I promise."

Charlie stroked Nick's hair quietly as he listened.

Nick was unsure of the science, but he was certain his heart would dry up like a raisin if Charlie stopped loving him. He would suffer an agonizing, empty death that would feel something like suffocation. He could feel his lungs restricting already.

"Please don't leave me," Nick begged, his words holding more than one meaning. "I would never cheat on you and I never said those things. You have to believe me, Char."

"Shh," Charlie hushed soothingly as he pulled Nick close, holding Nick's head to his shoulder. "I believe you." He ran his fingers through his lover's hair as Nick wept with fear and relief. "Why would I listen to David? Give me some credit."

"I know you worry. We were talking about this just a couple hours ago, now this happens. I don't want you to think that some pretty girl could tempt me away."

"So, she was pretty?" Charlie tried to joke.

Nick just hung his head in defeat.

"You could have done it," Charlie pointed out. "I wouldn't leave. You're too important to me. Maybe that makes me clingy or pathetic, but it's the truth."

"Charlie--"

"I'm very happy to hear that you didn't," he laughed anxiously. "I know I was talking about you experimenting and everything, but I know you. You're too honest for an affair. You would break up with me before that would ever happen. Plus, you said you didn't need to go off and experiment. I believe you. I trust you. Nothing David can say or any random photos can change that."

"I saw what he wrote to you and I just..." Nick wiped away some tears with the back of his hand before he met Charlie's gaze again. "I wouldn't be able to take it if you killed yourself. It would destroy me. It's already destroying me."

Charlie furrowed his brow. "Wait. Who said I was killing myself?"

Nick ran his thumb over Charlie's scarred wrist, trying to staunch the flow of tears with little success.

Charlie shook his head and held Nick's hands together in his own. "I'm not going to kill myself. Even when I'm miserable, I still want to live. Cutting, it's about control for me. Not death. Even if I felt that way, I couldn't do that to you. It would be like I'm abandoning you or something. I don't want you to grieve anyone, to ever feel pain, so I wouldn't. I won't."

Nick still struggled to halt his crying.

Charlie squeezed his shoulder and planted another kiss on his forehead.

Staring down at his hands, Nick finally let the tears flow freely. "I can't lose you. I love you so fucking much, Char. I can't."

"You won't," Charlie assured him. "I'm here for the long haul, do you understand?"

Still, Nick couldn't stop crying.

"Nick," he said, lovingly taking Nick's face into his hands. "I'm not going anywhere. I swear it."