Charlie and Nick Fanfic - PG13 Version

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TRIGGER WARNING; THIS CHAPTER MENTIONS SELF-HARM

Nick Nelson couldn't sleep. It didn't matter that he was back in the comfort of his own bed with the love of his life quietly snoring next to him. The sun was going to rise soon and he had only gotten an hour of rest at the most.

Charlie had lied to him. While Nick was off getting day-drunk in Paris with his family, Charlie had to face one of the main causes of his trauma all alone. He should have told Nick the instant he had called the night before.

Truthfully, it wasn't as though Nick was blameless here. He could tell something was wrong during their video call, but he hadn't been thinking with his head and perhaps, on a subconscious level, ignored it so he could simply enjoy seeing Charlie's face.

He wanted to kill Ben. Even if Ben meant no harm, his existence was harmful to Charlie. The damage had been too much and it was far too late to attempt amends. Nick didn't think Charlie would benefit from mending any bridges with Ben. It would only stir up past trauma.

Nick couldn't be angry with Charlie for withholding this information. He couldn't really be angry with Charlie in general. Charlie was too sweet, too kind, maybe too much so for this world.

"I crossed a line," Charlie had told him the night before. "It was so unprofessional. I'll never be hired again."

Nick wanted to tell him it didn't matter, that his mental health was more important than a silly part-time job. They were in their early 20s. It was normal, expected even that they make mistakes and a few stupid decisions. There was no good reason that Charlie should have condemned himself for doing what he felt he had to.

Nick turned away from the sun rising through the window to spoon Charlie. He smiled to himself, nuzzling his face into the fabric of Charlie's sweatshirt and inhaling his scent. Sliding his hand down Charlie's arm, their skin finally touched when Nick took ahold of his boyfriend's hand.

Stirring from his rest, Charlie gave Nick's hand a squeeze and leaned back into Nick's body.

Letting go, Nick let his own hand wander down, under Charlie's sweater, and back up to gently run his fingers over Charlie's wispy chest hair. "It's boiling in here. Why are you still wearing a jumper?"

"I was cold."

Turning onto his back, Charlie held Nick's stubbly cheeks in his palms and pressed their lips together. Nick's tongue eagerly met Charlie's, desperate to taste him.

"I can't believe how much I missed you," Nick whispered, his breath warm on Charlie's ear before he lay tender kisses onto his neck. Running his hands from Charlie's hands down his forearms, Nick's fingers grazed Charlie's wrists and it felt as though his heart stopped. He now understood why Charlie was hiding his arms.

Gentle as ever, Nick held Charlie's hand and inspected the new, unhealed slashes on his wrists. He wrapped his arms around Charlie and held him tight, silently holding back a ready stream of tears and planning what needed to come next.