Charlie and Nick Fanfic - PG13 Version

Bundle of Joy

They were only a half an hour late to the check out desk. They took the train back home and felt exhausted as they opened the door to their flat. Both Charlie and Nick expected a mess of some sort, mostly pizza boxes and empty bottles, but the flat was pristine. It actually looked like Oliver had cleaned while they were away, yet he wasn't in sight.

Charlie carried his and Nick's bags toward their bedroom, stopping when he noticed that the door was shut. To get his brother's attention, Charlie cleared him throat.

No reaction, not even a sound from within the bedroom.

Worried that his brother was in there with a guest, Charlie tried another approach. "Ollie! We're home."

He could hear scrambling from the other side of the door before Oliver emerged holding a pillow in his arms. When it moved, Charlie realized it wasn't a pillow.

"Alright, mates? Have a nice time?" Oliver wondered as he cradled a swaddled, little being to his chest.

Panic rapidly increased Charlie's heart rate at he stared at what he believed to be Oliver's infant.

Nick approached slowly with his mouth agape. When Charlie looked to him for input, Nick met him with a sympathetic shrug. Shit happens, right?

"What's wrong?" Oliver wondered, the looks of their faces and their silence speaking for them enough to have him worried. He didn't seem to understand why they were so anxious all of a sudden.

"Um," Charlie began. He didn't know how to navigate this, but for some reason, he wanted to scold his little brother for being so careless that he created a human being. He wanted to scold him for not telling anyone about it. And he wanted to give him a big hug and meet his new niece or nephew. "What the hell were you thi--"

Nick grasped Charlie's shoulder to startle him out of speaking so he could interject. "Who's this, Ollie?"

Oliver glanced down at the swaddled bundle of joy in his arms and chuckled like he had forgotten what he was holding.

"Do you know if it's yours?" Charlie asked, unable to stop himself.

"Charlie!" Nick smacked him in the arm.

"Yeah..." Oliver replied hesitantly. "I mean, now it is."

Charlie's eyes widened, his worries spiraling and spiraling. "What does that mean?"

"I dunno, I only picked him up this morning."

"Picked him up? What does that mean, Ollie?" Charlie questioned again, his thoughts now branching into the wilds. "Did you kidnap a baby?"

"What?" Oliver replied in shock before he began to laugh. "What in the hell made you think that?"

Charlie chortled, overwhelmed and confused. "Well, I may be a bit hazy on why you are holding a infant."

"Wait, you really think I would kidnap someone, especially a baby? Ouch, Charlie. Ouch."

"Well, where did it come from?" Charlie demanded to know.

Oliver tsked and chuckled to himself. "The pound." Stepping closer, he showed Charlie and Nick what he was holding.

Expecting to see the face of an infant, Charlie nearly jumped back in fright when instead, he saw the face of a wrinkly, hairless cat.

Oliver laughed at his reaction. "Yeah, he's kinda ugly, but I like him."

"Quick question," Nick said, trying not to sound judgmental. "Why have you swaddled the cat, exactly?"

Oliver shrugged. "He was cold, then he fell asleep."

Right on queue, he hairless cat jumped from his arms, slipping out of the blanket. It was so...hairless.

"You picked that one?" Charlie asked him.

"Yeah!" Oliver replied excitedly. "I had to, look at him," he instructed. They watched the cat sit on its back haunches and stare, tall and proud out the window, letting the sun shine off of its little skull.

Charlie shook his head, unable to see the appeal.

"Come on, Charlie!" he insisted. "He looks exactly like Professor X, but with more wrinkles."

When Oliver pointed it out, Charlie could actually see a striking resemblance.

"What's his name?" Nick inquired.

Oliver grinned, very sure that he had given his cat a clever name. "His name is Catrick Stewart."